Friday humour

Gandalph

boogieman

The first manned flight to Mars lands. Immediately a bunch of Martians come out to greet them. The Earth people are amazed and a bit scared but they’re really friendly and chatty. There’s lots of food and drink offered and consumed, then the Martians ask the Earth people about the differences between their planets. There’s a long discussion. 

“So do you guys have religion? A god?” asks an Earthling. 

“Oh yeah. We’re all Christians”

“Christians!!?? What, you mean as in Jesus?”

”Oh yeah sure. Jesus is a really nice guy. He visits us a couple of times a year”

”Wait…. He visits????”

”Of course. He’s such a cool dude, we love having him here. When it’s time to leave we make him up a big box full of his favourite chocolate bars. He really loves that. What did you guys do for him when he visited your place last time?” 

Kittyfrisk

Bet they were Mars bars... or Milky Ways.

DannyP

My favourite bit is that the Martians are chatty.

bertie

Kittyfrisk said:

Bet they were Mars bars... or Milky Ways.

Galaxy counters,  obvs

blobb

Oh, mil-history humour...

axisus

Lebarque

axisus said:

Pete Doherty and his husband, Lionel Blair.

TheMarlin

equalsql

https://i.redd.it/1rkzhqxrfdz81.jpg

Haych

I wonder if the inventor of the vibrator heard a voice that said, "If you build it, they will come"?

Actually, this doesn't really work, since it's based on a misquote from Field of Dreams.  The actual line from the movie is, if you build it, he will come.  In popular culture the line is often misquoted and they interposed, so I suppose the joke kinda works if you're ignorant to the original source, or you're just not as pedantic and/or Aspergic as I.

equalsql

Haych said:

I wonder if the inventor of the vibrator heard a voice that said, "If you build it, they will come"?

You mean like this? (NSFW)


  

guitargeek62

Haych said:

I wonder if the inventor of the vibrator heard a voice that said, "If you build it, they will come"?

Actually, this doesn't really work, since it's based on a misquote from Field of Dreams.  The actual line from the movie is, if you build it, he will come.  In popular culture the line is often misquoted and they interposed, so I suppose the joke kinda works if you're ignorant to the original source, or you're just not as pedantic and/or Aspergic as I.

Nah, the quote’s from Wayne’s World 2 - you had it right the first time!

tone1

Lebarque said:

axisus said:

Pete Doherty and his husband, Lionel Blair.

The Krankies - The Studious Years 

proggy

axisus said:

Ray Alan and Lord Charles (pre monocle)

bloodandtears

axisus said:

The chuckle brothers - high school awards night 

Winny_Pooh

guitargeek62

Winny_Pooh said:

What’s this got to do with BSSM?

EricTheWeary

Lost my shoes this morning so I had to cover my feet in bubble wrap to pop to the shops. 

Lebarque

Winny_Pooh said:

Don't get it