The worst day of our life, totally and completely devastated.

boogieman

Just spotted this...sad, sad news indeed. Our condolences to you and your family, wishing you all the best to get through these tough times.

TPReggie

Also just spotted this - as others have said, there are no words to describe how awful this must be, I cannot imagine anything worse than losing one of my kids. The great thing about a community of like - minded souls is that they can in their own way be a listening post, support, and rally around you in bad times. 

There are no words I can say that haven't been said already, you and your family will be in our thoughts over the next few days, my condolences to you all, and as others have said, we are here for you as best we can be as a community. 

guitari

Sorry to hear of your loss, losing a child really is devestating.

Condolences to you and your family.

AlexHunter

Johnny, that's awful news, so sorry to read this. Best to you and all the family.

Fazer

very sad and unfair to die so young, my sympathy for you all and for james

johnnyurq

Guy's and Gal myself and my family are gobsmacked by the kindness of all of your responses and in a strange way it is comforting to us. As proud parents we just wanted to mark his passing as best we can and let the world know he was here and made his mark.

Plus as he was eventually going to join the throng here it somehow seemed appropriate, given he was the same as all us here.

We have had the onerous task of formally identifying James today, sadly through glass until the post mortem which was harrowing. But it did give us a small crumb of comfort that he looked sort of asleep and had no signs of any distress, marks or wounds.

One thing I must say this forum and even at the other place the regulars all step up to the plate when a fellow forumite is hurting and in need of support or to vent, which is startling/rare in this day and age on an online forum.

I cannot help but titter when we were told the cost of the funeral yesterday because my son James's character was such he would be bending my ear saying dad you know that is a few good guitars worth and beers for that matter. Bless his silliness he was a beaut.

So it is fair to say that the admins, tech spods and indeed forumites should feel proud of this place and their own compassion for their fellow man.

You should all be beaming with pride and my wife and eldest lad wish me to pass on their thanks as well as mine, we know we will get through it is just a very big trial to have to face.

As we are in the eye of the storm visitors wise I will try to check in and post elsewhere other than here so I can spout my own brand of nonsense, like you do.

Heartfelt thanks from me and mine to all of you.

randomhandclaps

I just have to say that for a family that is going through as bad an experience as most could imagine, the fact that you took the time to write this will move all that read it, sending their thoughts your way.

Deadman

I feel a bit guilty by carrying on responding to other threads on the forum at the moment, Johnny. I hope it doesn't come across as being disrespectful, I've always got one eye on this thread.

I hope you're all coping. Although it sounds like you're a very strong unit. Take care.

johnnyurq

@Deadman

Thanks for your respectful post and post away because he was a mischevious wee lad and to be fair life has to go on, there is not other way that is not pushing the self destruct button, so not at all mate.

With good friends his and ours. family and ofcourse kind people like your good self we will be alright but with a big hole in our lives and hearts, but as long as we and his friends remember him he will never truly die.

We have been overwhelmed by the sheer volume and spread of friends who have been around to pay their respect and wishing to go to the service and cremation.

Makes a parent proud that he touched so many lives in such a positive way.

When my head is in a better place I will be mooching around here and posting if I can.

Blueingreen

Every parent's nightmare.  You have my deepest sympathy.

mart

So sorry to read this. My sympathies to you and the family. Glad you managed to have a laugh at the funeral costs - I hope you manage to get a few more moments like that to provide at least some momentary relief from the pain.

ourmaninthenorth

Peace. 

jonnyburgo

This is just too sad Johnny, look after each other pal, let it all out when you need to.

UnclePsychosis

So sorry to hear this. Sending you as much sympathy as a stranger on the internet can. 

I had a relative die young (17) too. He was given a humanist ceremony---it was very moving and beautifully done.  I hope that James' send off brings you at least a little peace. 

Lixarto

I think it's apparent from the style of your posts that you are a very centred individual who is clearly holding it together in extreme times.

Much love to you and all your family.

DiscoStu

@johnnyurq

Johnny, I think it's fair to say that none of us really know what to say to you right now. We are all stunned by your news and have nothing but compassion for you and your family.

I read your email earlier. I wasn't sure exactly what to say in return but from what I read, combined with your earlier posts on here, you appear to be doing an incredible job of holding it together given the circumstances. Truly incredible. Your family need you and James especially needs you and you are doing a wonderful job of it.

Life does indeed go on and I admire and share your attitude. Give James the best send off you can, celebrate his life and try to bring joy to this sad event. And when things have calmed down, mourn.

Hats off to you Johnny.

Cirrus

I kind of think that time is something we invent to make the universe we experience into something that makes sense for our silly little monkey brains - it's a way of ordering things nicely. So when I've lost a family member or friend I comfort myself by remembering that just because my silly little consciousness has moved past the part of my life they were around for, their life is still there nestled comfortably against mine.

I also believe that the quality of a life is more important than its duration. I don't know you at all but from what I've read it's clear you care deeply for your son and I'm sure you did everything to the best of your ability, fallible though we all are, to give him the best life you could and raise him as best you could. You should take pride and comfort in that, and in him. I'm 28 so only a little older than your son was, and I know that if I were to go I'd want my parents to know how much I appreciated them.

CabbageCat

Bad news, buddy. Losing a kid is pretty-much the worst thing that can happen to someone. I can't really imagine how shitty it is and I don't really want to.

Think good thoughts when you can, endure the bad ones when you can't.