The cricket thread

scrumhalf

What a shower of shit.

More inept than I thought possible. In fact, no evidence of any sort of eptness, a veritable ept desert.

Superb bowling and catching by the Aussies. 

But... 

Fucking hell. 

RandallFlagg

I need to go home and start drinking...

crunchman

Bit of light relief.  Wilson can't even count the number of balls in the over correctly.

Why on earth is he an international umpire?

guitars4you

crunchman said:

79 looks a long way off at the moment.

adjusted that for you

RandallFlagg

guitars4you said:

crunchman said:

79 looks a long way off at the moment.

adjusted that for you

A hearse has just pulled up outside Headingley

scrumhalf

Does anyone have the sales numbers for sandpaper in Leeds?

Any recent spikes? 

camf

It's on occasions like this that being a Scottish cricket fan is a massive relief. So theoretically I can at least just shrug and give a wry laugh... sort of... but if I was an English cricket fan, I'd be utterly, utterly inconsolable. My deepest sympathies to you all.  

guitars4you

Sometimes you don't know what to say that doesn't contain a swear word

As part of the team management etc then what do you say - Far easier to correct and fine tune one or two issues - When it is all as bad as this then where do you start

Easy to blame tired minds after the World Cup - But this is very poor - Yet not the first time such collapses have happened to England in recent times - And not one decent innings so far in this Ashes

Credit to Aussies for such  a fine bowling spell, especially after such a poor day for them yesterday - They could easily have been expecting and looking at England getting 300 plus on the 1st innings - They have  a plan, dug in and made it work

Archer + Broad were hoping for a day of - They might get it Sunday and/or Monday now

scrumhalf

Lunch. 54-6.

I'll be kind and say that it was a team decision not to let Roy feel bad about his batting.

One thing: no way will I be having a salad for lunch. I need some comfort food. 

Dopesick

I do find it comforting that a dreadful England performance always brings people together in (dis)harmony.

Worst England Top Six I've ever seen.

camf

Dopesick said:

Worst England Top Six I've ever seen.

Hard to argue with that.

scrumhalf

Any truth in the rumours that Jofra's been on the phone to the West Indies Cricket Board begging forgiveness?

Heartfeltdawn

guitars4you said:

Sometimes you don't know what to say that doesn't contain a swear word

As part of the team management etc then what do you say - Far easier to correct and fine tune one or two issues - When it is all as bad as this then where do you start

 You start by looking at the women's game. So much of the financial boost a few years back went into the top level with the goal of winning the World Cup. This short-term goal was achieved but it was at the price of the domestic structure going nowhere. Cricket Australia went long-term and now they're light years ahead of everyone having spent their financial boost wisely by strengthening top and bottom and making their domestic structure better. 

the men's game has had the financial boost going on for years and focused on the short term goal of winning the World Cup. This was achieved by fucking over county cricket, primarily the one-day competition and the County Championship, and this will be compounded next season with the introduction of the Hundred, a competition which so far seems to be focused on rewarding Australians with fat coaching contracts. 

I hope to shit that the Test-loving fraternity do everything possible to boycott the team if we get stuffed this series. Don't attend internationals, stay away from the Hundred. Nothing would send a greater message to the ECB than Pakistan and Windies series next year where there are vast expanses of empty seating. 

Dopesick

camf said:

Dopesick said:

Worst England Top Six I've ever seen.

Hard to argue with that.

Well, granted I've only been watching since the mid 90s really, but despite the doldrums we were in at the latter part of the 90s after losing at home to NZ and then the numerous whitewashes against the Aussies, we always had world class batsmen like Stewart, Hussain, Thorpe, Cook, Pietersen etc.

Nobody in the current Top Six is at the same standard.

Heartfeltdawn

And doesn't this story sum English Test cricket up over the last few years. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/49449547

Come down to Taunton, Haseeb. We'll get you firing. 

scrumhalf

And the hits just keep on rolling.

RandallFlagg

If England have lost The Ashes by Old Trafford, I'm not going. I'm not.

scrumhalf

Three wickets lost in 20 minutes since lunch.

Words fail me. 

Dopesick

guitars4you said:

crunchman said:

79 looks a long way off at the moment.

adjusted that for you

When jokes become reality.

scrumhalf

Beefy just now: 4th time since the beginning of last year that we've been bowled out for under 100. So let's introduce another tip and run competition to ensure that nobody knows how to leave the ball.