Any Dads advice? (Non sleeping baby)

professorben

so out of the blue, my 10mth old Boy has started not sleeping well, routine is the same, food, bath (if required) bottle, bed.
previously a good sleeper, now he's taking 1-2 hours to fall asleep, and waking up after about 3 for about 4 hours then crashing finally around 4am
i get up at 5.....
i very seriously considered sticking my hand in a 3 phase board today.
missus and I are beyond shattered.....
please help. 
The Cry It Out thing does not work. 
3 hours of him screaming and showing no signs of stopping. 
Only falls asleep with holding and rocking, if you stop, he wakes, if you try to put him down, he wakes.....

please help. 

Nikko

Does he have a sleep during the day?

bloodandtears

Have you reduced nap times during the day??

Is it teething?

hywelg

Bring him in bed with you. One of you to sleep in a separate room, no point you both being awake. Beer or strong spirits helps. Get yourselves a routine. My two didn't sleep through the night until 2yrs old. Tried driving around nowhere in particular. Tried going for a walk at 3 in the morning. Calpol helps but really shouldn't. They do grow out of it, eventually. But then they start up again about15!

stimpsonslostson

Obviously all children are different, but having gone through this fairly recently I'd suggest it's a gas/teething- the two are inexorably linked. Teething means they swallow lots of saliva which in turn causes gas (and HORRIBLE nappies- noticed that?) so they wake up SCREAMING with a sore mouth and trapped wind. 

The needing to be cuddled to sleep is classic colic. Have you tried propping the cot up with a few books to raise his head a bit? That helped mine dramatically (as did putting them down on their sides). We also used "teetha" which are these weird powder sachets you feed the kid and it seems to neutralise the problem a bit. ANYTHING is worth a try though right.

Hope it improves soon, it WILL get better eventually. 

I ended up sleeping on an air bed in the dining room so that I could function (not kill anyone) at work. It's all about survival when this happens.

Good luck.

eSully

That's around the age a lot of kids molars come through which tend to be the worst. I'm assuming you've ruled out teething though as you haven't mentioned it.

If I had good advice on this I'd write a book and make a fortune, we had that with our first and it was hell, second is 6 months and was a great sleeper up until this last week and now we're back in the land of teething and sleepless nights. We have friends where both kids were terrible sleepers and up every hour until they were well past a year. I have no idea how they coped.

It was at the third time of trying the controlled crying (Ferber method) our eldest girl started sleeping the night which she has done since, I don't know whether it was something we did wrong or something in her temperament but it was almost as if she didn't know how to fall asleep. She'd get so tired and frustrated and that seemed to keep her up longer. Controlled crying is pretty horrible but it did eventually pay off. Her being able to fall asleep by herself and get good sleep was a revelation not just for us but her too.

hywelg

Oh and they do pick up on your stress levels.

richh

Put him in a car seat and go for a drive.  He falls asleep - now you have to sneak in and hope he doesn't wake.

Or the old wive's way, of slipping a drop of brandy in his bedtime milk?

hywelg

If he's still breastfeeding get your lady to have a couple of drinks before feeding him.

BenSirAmos

As long as there are no underlying problems... I found that our daughter woke herself up by waving her arms around when she was supposed to be going to sleep. My solution was to tuck her in or wrap her up so that it was more difficult for her to wriggle about. It worked after a fashion But she has probably never forgiven me.

billzabozo

Mine did the same used to sleep on his back turned him over onto his front and everyone was happy again. So you could try turning them over from whatever the norm is for yours. I seem to remember officially you should only put them on there stomach when they can hold there heads up but quiet frankly years before that advice it was never let them sleep on there backs etc... That's just my experience of what worked I wish you luck.

strumjoughlamps

yeah 10 month is the buzzing brain activity milestone, give it a month should die down.

Nikko

It could well be teething problems, but as has been mentioned above, all kids are different, so the following is the routine we ended up following, and it worked well for us.

My Daughter is a few months off of being 3 years old now, but she has been sleeping through the night since she was 1. The first thing we did was to cut out the day time nap, and made a conscious effort to take her outside more in the fresh air. We increased the amount of activities she did, and generally just kept her entertained. Im not sure what was more knackering to be honest, waking up every couple of hours during the night or running around like a nutter to keep her happy during the day   So, basically, we just completely tired her out. Even 30-45mins outside in the fresh air in the afternoon helps. Now she spends her days with either the child minder or at nursery, and the stimulation she is getting from all the activities means that we really don't need to do much in the evenings as shes pretty much ready for bed before shes even had dinner.

It does get better, trust me. Before she came along I didn't know how I would cope (I bloody love my sleep), but you just do. You survive, and come out the other end qualified to tell new Dads that it gets better, and not to worry

Plukky

Learning to sleep with him on your chest.

 Gallons of coffee during the day.

 As soon as we got to the point where we thought we couldn't take anymore, things would change, so hopefully you're nearly there.

Chalky

All of mine always slept on their stomachs since birth (youngest is 3 now) and the general view seems that it encourages self-soothing. Worth a try?

professorben

Nikko said:

Does he have a sleep during the day?

Yeah at 10 and 2 usually for an hour or 1.5 now lucky to get 30 mins 

Nikko

Id cut them out completely to be honest.

professorben

bloodandtears said:

Have you reduced nap times during the day??

Is it teething?

He is teething yes, but doesn't seem bothered by it. He's cut 4 on top 2 on lower and few on the way but still a bit of a way off. 
No rash or obvious mouth discomfort. 

Sporky

We found with Sprocket that she went to sleep much more happily, and stayed asleep much longer, once we put her in the hall. She really didn't like being in a crate. The same may apply to babies. Do people keep them in crates?

professorben

hywelg said:

Bring him in bed with you. One of you to sleep in a separate room, no point you both being awake. Beer or strong spirits helps. Get yourselves a routine. My two didn't sleep through the night until 2yrs old. Tried driving around nowhere in particular. Tried going for a walk at 3 in the morning. Calpol helps but really shouldn't. They do grow out of it, eventually. But then they start up again about15!

Trying not to co-sleep as everywhere says it's a bad habit to form, the thing is he sleeps really well usually, it's been about 3 weeks now and it's doing us in. 
I have been on the sofa last week and a bit, but he's so loud it wakes me up anyway. 

professorben

hywelg said:

If he's still breastfeeding get your lady to have a couple of drinks before feeding him.

Fraid not that didn't happen for us.