Any Dads advice? (Non sleeping baby)

professorben

Sesh said:

I feel for you. My kids are 7 and 12, so those sleepless nights were long ago, but they were very trying...

I don't recommend taking the baby into your bed. It can be unsafe, and it can form a habit that takes years to break. We never did this, but friends did and they regretted it.

If it is teething we used one of the gels (dentinox?), that definitely helped, and we often ended up with the head end of the cot propped up an inch or two to try and stop the snot and dribble catching in their throats.

How dark is the room? Is there too much sensory entertainment going on. The babies eyes will be developing so it may be seeing things better now, and also being able to understand them too. That would be quite exciting and keep them awake. Black out blinds are great.

Also, when you do go to the baby at night, keep the interaction minimal. Try not to talk or play with them, or they will think it is play time. Just run through the probable causes and remedies (nappies, wind, teething, lonely etc) with as little fuss and try not let on your are tired/livid or about cry like your in Dawson's Creek.

Yeah trying to not co sleep but it's the inly thing that works 59% of the time....
not talking just putting back on his back, he's standing at that point screaming,
he gets up, put him down, he gets up lasted 2 hours one night. 
room is pretty dark. No night lights or toys. 
Ah well, guess it's just tough times.....

professorben

Maybe Mick Jagger can offer me advice. He's going to be a dad too....

Sesh

professorben said:

Sesh said:

I feel for you. My kids are 7 and 12, so those sleepless nights were long ago, but they were very trying...

I don't recommend taking the baby into your bed. It can be unsafe, and it can form a habit that takes years to break. We never did this, but friends did and they regretted it.

If it is teething we used one of the gels (dentinox?), that definitely helped, and we often ended up with the head end of the cot propped up an inch or two to try and stop the snot and dribble catching in their throats.

How dark is the room? Is there too much sensory entertainment going on. The babies eyes will be developing so it may be seeing things better now, and also being able to understand them too. That would be quite exciting and keep them awake. Black out blinds are great.

Also, when you do go to the baby at night, keep the interaction minimal. Try not to talk or play with them, or they will think it is play time. Just run through the probable causes and remedies (nappies, wind, teething, lonely etc) with as little fuss and try not let on your are tired/livid or about cry like your in Dawson's Creek.

Yeah trying to not co sleep but it's the inly thing that works 59% of the time....
not talking just putting back on his back, he's standing at that point screaming,
he gets up, put him down, he gets up lasted 2 hours one night. 
room is pretty dark. No night lights or toys. 
Ah well, guess it's just tough times.....

Best of luck with this. It will improve. They get older and grow out of one annoying thing and develop another. I remember so much advice coming in from so many directions, and that wasn't always helpful. Or, when people claim their little darlings are perfect. The most hateful phrase was "sleep when the baby sleeps." I'm not a violent man but I could have skinned every fucker who said that to my sleep-deprived-on-the-edge self back then.

Bogwhoppit

professorben said:

Maybe Mick Jagger can offer me advice. He's going to be a dad too....

Jesus, if I took my widget out in front of the wife and said lets make some kids, she'd have me sectioned !

professorben

Bogwhoppit said:

professorben said:

Maybe Mick Jagger can offer me advice. He's going to be a dad too....

Jesus, if I took my widget out in front of the wife and said lets make some kids, she'd have me sectioned !

I think it's different when you are a millionaire. 

ESBlonde

Babies are all so different, you have to find that something. For my oldest it was either being driven in a car/pushed in a buggy or laying on my chest listening to my heart (back in the days I still had one). Some nights I would drive miles to get him off and he then slept in the car seat until morning (in the house I might add). My misses would hand him to her gran for the day who let him sleep and I got lumbered with the night watch! It passes and they become normal and you regain sanity but it does wear you down. The time comes soon enough though. Good luck.

JDE

Generally "fighting to stay awake" normally means either craving sensory input (they used to call this "pre-developmental leap" behaviour) and he is of the age where he will soon be starting to do stuff as opposed to just being a lovely little blob of baby, so it's common, or it means he's in pain - teeth, tummy etc. As he's not seemingly in pain during the day, he may have trapped wind from laying down. 

I feel for you though. My eldest (who is 5 now) has severe autism and a few other neurological issues and sleeps very little. I get about 15-20 hours' kip a week. You do begin to get used to it! I hope your situation improves, though!!!

professorben

JDE said:

Generally "fighting to stay awake" normally means either craving sensory input (they used to call this "pre-developmental leap" behaviour) and he is of the age where he will soon be starting to do stuff as opposed to just being a lovely little blob of baby, so it's common, or it means he's in pain - teeth, tummy etc. As he's not seemingly in pain during the day, he may have trapped wind from laying down. 

I feel for you though. My eldest (who is 5 now) has severe autism and a few other neurological issues and sleeps very little. I get about 15-20 hours' kip a week. You do begin to get used to it! I hope your situation improves, though!!!

Bless you mate, I know it's prob just a normal thing to go through but at the moment it seems totally beyond what we can cope with. 
I'm sure it will pan out, just trying to keep on top of everything. 
Wish I had a sit down job lol 

Nikko

professorben said:

JDE said:

Generally "fighting to stay awake" normally means either craving sensory input (they used to call this "pre-developmental leap" behaviour) and he is of the age where he will soon be starting to do stuff as opposed to just being a lovely little blob of baby, so it's common, or it means he's in pain - teeth, tummy etc. As he's not seemingly in pain during the day, he may have trapped wind from laying down. 

I feel for you though. My eldest (who is 5 now) has severe autism and a few other neurological issues and sleeps very little. I get about 15-20 hours' kip a week. You do begin to get used to it! I hope your situation improves, though!!!

Bless you mate, I know it's prob just a normal thing to go through but at the moment it seems totally beyond what we can cope with. 
I'm sure it will pan out, just trying to keep on top of everything. 
Wish I had a sit down job lol 

No...trust me...you don't. I got woken up by colleagues quite a few times in the early days of dadhood, sitting in this cosy office

professorben

Nikko said:

professorben said:

JDE said:

Generally "fighting to stay awake" normally means either craving sensory input (they used to call this "pre-developmental leap" behaviour) and he is of the age where he will soon be starting to do stuff as opposed to just being a lovely little blob of baby, so it's common, or it means he's in pain - teeth, tummy etc. As he's not seemingly in pain during the day, he may have trapped wind from laying down. 

I feel for you though. My eldest (who is 5 now) has severe autism and a few other neurological issues and sleeps very little. I get about 15-20 hours' kip a week. You do begin to get used to it! I hope your situation improves, though!!!

Bless you mate, I know it's prob just a normal thing to go through but at the moment it seems totally beyond what we can cope with. 
I'm sure it will pan out, just trying to keep on top of everything. 
Wish I had a sit down job lol 

No...trust me...you don't. I got woken up by colleagues quite a few times in the early days of dadhood, sitting in this cosy office

Beats wavering around on the road or electrocuting myself 

Nikko

Ok, you can have that one

A5D5E5

My son is 5.  He has never been a good sleeper.  He didn't really sleep "through" (say from 8pm to 5am) until he was about 4 and would frequently be up 2 or 3 times a night.  Getting him to sleep generally took about 1-2 hours every evening with lots of crying and getting out of bed.  Things have improved gradually and he is now pretty good at going to bed with no bother and he sleeps reliably until 5am most mornings.  Sometimes it is a little earlier.  It is never much after 5:30am.

My daughter is nearly 3 and is much worse.  She woke up 8-10 times a night every night until she was about 2.  That improved gradually and she now wakes up once or twice a night generally with the odd night where she doesn't wake up at all until about 5:30am.

Neither of them have ever gone to sleep during the day in the house - they simply would not or could not do it.  We had to put them in the car and drive them round for anything between 30 and 90 minutes.

They are both perfectly happy, healthy and full of energy during the day (as well as part of the night!) and just don't seem to need as much sleep as some other children.

Apparently my wife was just the same as my daughter and I was worse than my son but not as bad as my daughter so the grandparents see this as some sort of "payback".

I have no advice to give which might make things easier - nothing we have tried has worked.  However, you do need to try and find a routine where you and your wife can share the misery without either feeling that they are having to do an unfair share.

SteveRobinson

My youngest didn't go to sleep until about 4am this morning.









She is twenty though and had been out with her mates.

It doesn't get any easier as they get older, just more expensive.

Sambostar

Have you considered giving it up for medical research?

monofin

I always said ours found life too exciting to sleep. Have to say that co-sleeping saved my sanity with my daughter. Don't be afraid to give it a try, it might just work for you.

maidenfan

We had a Fisher Price Seahorse that was a god send at times for both of ours. This looks to be something similar.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/SweetDreamers-ewan-dream-sheep®-purple/dp/B0040JSN7Y/ref=pd_lpo_21_bs_img_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=7QZN52BBM33XTHJBKMRC

TimmyO

Trying to 'solve' these phases can drive you mad. Sometimes as much as you can do is share the burden with your partner so neither of you get *too* stressed out and do whatever your instincts tell you is right for you and your own child. 

Then wait for the *next* bizarre development period - it'll be different but probably just as hard lol 

And throw away any books about perfect routines

Sporky

monofin said:

I always said ours found life too exciting to sleep. Have to say that co-sleeping saved my sanity with my daughter. Don't be afraid to give it a try, it might just work for you.

The human race does have millions of years of co-sleeping in its history.

monofin

@Sporky Totally agree. We resisted the temptation for ages due to the advice at the time but have to say it worked well for us. My daughter still gets in with us most nights but we're sure she'll grow out of it just like my son did. My sister in law didn't even own a cot as she co-slept hers from day one.

monofin

^^ sorry about the formatting. Really cant get the hang of this new editor