Jacking it all in...

darthed1981

Hi All,

Don't worry (OK, you weren't worried) I've not put a flouncing off post in here instead of SC, I've no immediate flouncing plans.

I mean jacking in the hobby of playing guitar.  I often give it some serious consideration.

I don't really have an easy way of going to the next step, I don't have many like-minded friends to jam with or look to form a band, so apart from the enjoyable experience of meeting forumites at the jam session organised here, I don't get a chance to play much with others.

I also literally never get to practise, with work stressing my butt and two small children, I picked up a guitar last night, and I'd gotten worse... when I do turn my amp up a little bit to practise, I get told to turn it down by the wife...

and there is the rub.  As a guy in his mid-30s I know damn well the work and commitment needed to improve and progress at something.  I'm left-handed and play right-handed, so additionally my right hand is my weakest link (i.e. the thing most people learning properly get down FIRST).

Anyone else ever have dark moments where you consider a fire sale of all your gear and to well, just quit?  Can you justify continuing if you are unhappy with your level of skill and progression?

notanon

You can Jam online. Have fun, who cares how good you are. I play along with John, Paul, George and Ringo almost every night courtesy of YouTube :-)

guitarfishbay

Yes it's true you need a concentrated effort to get better.

But can you play stuff right now that you get enjoyment from?  At a basic level, do you enjoy picking up a guitar and noodling?

I used to get pretty stressed out if I couldn't keep my technique practice up.  The way I see it is it's like a bucket you're trying to fill with water, but there are small holes in the side part of the way up.  In order to keep it as full as possible you've got to pour water in all the time, if you take too long off you'll end up back at a lower level again.

But in reality, what are you trying to get good for?  I've come to accept that my I've not played in a few days level is still ok for a lot of the music I play, and if I want to do something serious like record then I do have to plan ahead and make a constant effort.  But it's not the end of the world if I can't play for a couple of days, I can get it back.  In short, don't beat yourself up about it... enjoy it when you play

With regards to volume have you got an option for headphones practice?

Jalapeno

... and get a PoD (or anything) and some headphones - listening to someone else learning to play an instrument is torture !

Danny1969

A good friend of mine started playing at 64 and now he's a regular at jam nights playing in public and he does a good job. No ones ever too old . Just enjoy it for what it is at the mo, get some headphones so you can practice without annoying anyone and you will steadily get better. 

LuttiS

I'm in a similar situation...

Young child and wife who works from home means i don't even remember the last time i actually plugged in my guitar...

lack of sleep and work commitments mean that when i do have time in the evening for playing i often don't have the energy to get out the guitar.

Before my (now 13m/o) girl was born i regularly played in jams and bands and such. I started running through a few exercises the other week and was surprised at really how shit i was. Couple of years ago i would have considered myself quite an experienced guitarist, but now i'm really struggling with quite simple things. 

Also in 30's, and I absolutely love gear and guitars and shizzle. Everyone needs something to be passionate (family doesn't count) and music is mine.

IN an effort to re-ignite my love i've taken steps

I've blocked off the weekend of forum jam - it's a target something to aim for. Treat it how you want, work deadline, or just something to look forward to.

Also bought a laptop, loaded it with reaper & gpx, dug out an interface etc. There's enough free stuff out there to really help. 
I can now (well, soonish, still looking for time ) play silently in the evenings, actually learning things with the programs. 

Even joining TFB has helped. Even when not being able to play, just being able to talk gear and stuff with like minded people is great. There are people here who have gone through it, and even though a telecaster doesn't count as a child safe guitar storage the community helps.

Headphones are a must.


I've always been unhappy with my skill level, and playing with others has always been the fastest way i've improved, especially with people who are better than you. 
I've accepted i'm not going to be a shred master, but if i can (could) do a convincing bit of lead i'm happy. 

TBH i just enjoy making noise, sticking a simple chord loop on and having a little pentatonic widdle still makes me happy.

I've never considered giving up, i've consolidated gear to take up less house space, but i could never get rid of some of the few things (family still not included) that make me happy.

still typing and not really sure where i'm going with this... but yeah.. don't give up

stratman3142

darthed1981 said:

... I'm left-handed and play right-handed, so additionally my right hand is my weakest link (i.e. the thing most people learning properly get down FIRST).

Anyone else ever have dark moments where you consider a fire sale of all your gear and to well, just quit?  Can you justify continuing if you are unhappy with your level of skill and progression?

I wouldn't worry about being left handed and playing right handed. There are plenty of players that have that in common with you (see link below), including me.

http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/68719/famous-left-hand-players-who-still-play-right-handed

I think the main thing is to enjoy what you're doing. I'll never be happy with my level of skill, but it's fun (and sometimes totally frustrating) trying to improve.

paulphoenix

Maybe find a guitar teacher, and start studying towards your exam grades? You will be able to see your progress, and it would give you a structured way of learning towards actual targets whilst giving you measurable results. 

Edit - i too am left handed but play right handed - my guitar teacher refused to teach a lefty when i was a child so hence i play "the right way round". I don't feel it's hindrance in the slightest -  it's all about practise and repetition. Your grades will hone your right hand skill too. 

guitars4you

stratman3142 said:

darthed1981 said:

... I'm left-handed and play right-handed, so additionally my right hand is my weakest link (i.e. the thing most people learning properly get down FIRST).

Anyone else ever have dark moments where you consider a fire sale of all your gear and to well, just quit?  Can you justify continuing if you are unhappy with your level of skill and progression?

I wouldn't worry about being left handed and playing right handed. There are plenty of players that have that in common with you (see link below), including me.

http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/68719/famous-left-hand-players-who-still-play-right-handed

I think the main thing is to enjoy what you're doing. I'll never be happy with my level of skill, but it's fun (and sometimes totally frustrating) trying to improve.

thanks for posting that - I was going to re-do that

as far as packing it in then that has to be your choice @darthed1981 but I always think it is a pity when someone does this - Hard to evaluate at this stage where you are at as a player, where you want to be and what you can achieve - some valid comments already above - I don't gig now, but still play on a regular basis and have had to re-evaluate a couple of times the purpose of playing at home

jamming along with some form of backing tracks, or other device, playing endless pentatonic licks became a form of frustration for me as though there was no measurement of improvement. Equally trying to copy to the nth degree the solo for your favourite song became a question of why - However I started to try and play songs, but in my style but influenced by how a guitar hero might play it - Think Jeff Beck and somewhere over the rainbow - I don't mean you need all the flash harmonics and trem bends and equally I don't mean a 'sterile' Hank format - But now I've built up a library of tunes I can play, with or without backing or rhythm tracks - I never have to play them to the nth degree the same every time - So play the melody, then embellish as and when you know the tune better with additional licks, notes and chords - doesn't have to be jazz

I had a scenario a few years ago at a party and there was a guitar there and someone told me to play it - You can't just play the riff for All Right Now as with out the band you are just part of the song - I can't sing, so no use strumming a few chords and singing popular songs - No use playing more pentatonic licks as pointless on your own - I now know that I could play my interpretation of songs - I enjoy it far more and feel each new song learnt is progress

In short think about what you can play, target a few ideas and work to that - enjoy what you are doing and if you are on your own don't just doodle as no one else knows what you are doing

darthed1981

guitarfishbay said:

Yes it's true you need a concentrated effort to get better.

But can you play stuff right now that you get enjoyment from?  At a basic level, do you enjoy picking up a guitar and noodling?

I used to get pretty stressed out if I couldn't keep my technique practice up.  The way I see it is it's like a bucket you're trying to fill with water, but there are small holes in the side part of the way up.  In order to keep it as full as possible you've got to pour water in all the time, if you take too long off you'll end up back at a lower level again.

But in reality, what are you trying to get good for?  I've come to accept that my I've not played in a few days level is still ok for a lot of the music I play, and if I want to do something serious like record then I do have to plan ahead and make a constant effort.  But it's not the end of the world if I can't play for a couple of days, I can get it back.  In short, don't beat yourself up about it... enjoy it when you play

With regards to volume have you got an option for headphones practice?

Thanks everyone for replies, always nice to hear from you all on these things, know I'm not too isolated in my first-world problems!

There is stuff I enjoy, literally picking up and noodling is probably what I enjoy most, but the tough bit is when I pick up a guitar and I'm almost always tired, my right-arm just sort of locks, strumming in a consistent pattern actually gets difficult, the absolute basics get tough.

Great point about why try to get good - I guess to justify how much I like to buy guitars and gear.  People say "you have 12 guitars, you must be really good.." and I have to say "no, I suck, but I do love guitars" - this is in environments where everything is a competition, I literally work with people who say they are good at everything to avoid showing weakness.  Something I have very little time for.

I play through headphones all the time, in fact I keep a Blackstar Core on hand specifically for this as it is very convenient just for headphones.

The tricky thing the family is actually my kids are little cheerleaders, which is lovely, they will actually dance around when I play, they will probably pick up a guitar and get good long before I do!  Bless them.

My wife however really intensely dislikes guitars and guitar based music.  So the whole process leaves her ice cold.  She also is tired and stressed a lot of the time, so even the acoustic sound of an electric guitar strumming while I play with headphones is a bit much for her!

Legionreturns

@LuttiS ;; scratch that... You're not where I thought you were!

LuttiS

darthed1981 said:

My wife however really intensely dislikes guitars and guitar based music.  So the whole process leaves her ice cold.  She also is tired and stressed a lot of the time, so even the acoustic sound of an electric guitar strumming while I play with headphones is a bit much for her!

What does she like?

Time to claim a mancave?

@Legionreturns - You've got me intrigued! Where did you think i were?

Lestratcaster

Go back to the time you wanted to pick it up in the first place. Could be your favourite band or a song that inspired you. My reason was to play in a band and thankfully I’ve achieved this and still doing it now. I go back to my favourite bands if I ever lack motivation or inspiration.

AlexC

I've been mulling over this post for a good 20 mins. It makes me quite sad TBH. I realise I am 'lucky' in that my wife is a very fine guitarist, singer, songwriter and - obviously - we have a band. But I cannot understand why someone's other half can't just tolerate their hobby. I get the stresses of modern life, but I wouldn't mind betting that you play at a lower volume than the TV is set on. Do NOT give it up. Everyone hits a trough with playing - oh, I'm not getting any better. But then you push through that and one day you can suddenly do something you couldn't do before - finger picking, alternate picking, some mad jazz chord - whatever! If playing makes YOU happy then do it. It's better then spending all night down the pub getting drunk, right? Or disappearing for a 12 hr round of golf. Anyway - hope it works out and don't give up. Those guitars need you!

John_A

It was in my early 30's that I pretty much gave up.  I still played at home, but work and the travel that went with it meant I didn't have time to play in a band.  10 years on I re-joined a band and haven't stopped since.

My advice is don't worry about it, just put the guitar down until you feel like picking it up again - you will

darthed1981

AlexC said:

I've been mulling over this post for a good 20 mins. It makes me quite sad TBH. I realise I am 'lucky' in that my wife is a very fine guitarist, singer, songwriter and - obviously - we have a band. But I cannot understand why someone's other half can't just tolerate their hobby. I get the stresses of modern life, but I wouldn't mind betting that you play at a lower volume than the TV is set on. Do NOT give it up. Everyone hits a trough with playing - oh, I'm not getting any better. But then you push through that and one day you can suddenly do something you couldn't do before - finger picking, alternate picking, some mad jazz chord - whatever! If playing makes YOU happy then do it. It's better then spending all night down the pub getting drunk, right? Or disappearing for a 12 hr round of golf. Anyway - hope it works out and don't give up. Those guitars need you!

Thanks man, nice post

underdog

I'm also a left handed person who plays the right way around, don't look at it as your right hand being weaker than other beginners, think how much of a head start your left hand has over others.

markv

John_A said:

It was in my early 30's that I pretty much gave up.  I still played at home, but work and the travel that went with it meant I didn't have time to play in a band.  10 years on I re-joined a band and haven't stopped since.

My advice is don't worry about it, just put the guitar down until you feel like picking it up again - you will

I was going to say this too. I didn't give up but while the kids were very young and my job was demanding, I gave up the band, and rarely played - in fact, much of the time I was working away and didn't have a guitar with me at all.

10 years after we first had kids, I changed jobs, we moved house, and I started finding more free time. It's hard to see that far in the future when it's that far away (at least, it is for me), but things can improve. Don't think it'll always be like this!

Nikko

Ive often had the thought of quitting, and when I have, ive tried to remind myself why I picked up the guitar to start with. Ill listen to a favourite track with an amazing solo that reaches me on an emotional level, and ill get a new lease of life, inspiration-wise. Also, ive been practising, and suddenly done something/played something completely of the top of my head that sounded great, and its given me another much needed boost.

My practise time is also very limited due to my Family/home life, so I generally only get to pick a guitar up late in the evenings when everyone is in bed (thank goodness for headphones). Ive found that due to the limited time available, I have to make sure I have a specific practise agenda to focus on. I try to work out in advance for the week, what I will be practising each day, and have found this is better for me than just randomly picking up a guitar and then thinking ...'Right...what shall I do?'

Tonight, ill be looking at some chords I hadn't seen before I accidentally came across them this past weekend, but sounded really interesting. Ive printed out the tabs in advance to save me time later. I obviously don't know your schedule, Ed, but ive found that this approach to my practise time has meant that I see more actual improvement in my playing, which in turn keeps away the thoughts of quitting.

Keep going mate.

Kebabkid

I sympathise with your various home restrictions but even if it's for 30 mins playing time a week, it's worth it as it's "Your Thing". Don't give up and try and find work arounds.

There are also great gadgets out there today and as an example,I use the Vox headphones (Twin version) and it has basic built-in fx. It also has an aux which allows me to plug in my phone/music via a mini-jack lead and the headphone lead goes to the guitar. That helps me enormously when it comes to learning stuff and not making noise or bothering anyone. Plus, it's a portable unit. Lunch hour at work??? I'm sure there are other things out there that do a similar thing.

There's also a plethora of online jam and learning material and you could say that on that score, we've never had it so good.

Have a think about it but don't throw in the towel and at the end of the day, do what makes you happy.

All the best

JezWynd

Having music in the house is important. Get your wife some noise cancelling headphones and rock out with your kids.