Jacking it all in...

markv

Lewy said:

I also have two small kids (3 and nearly 2 yo) and I've found it important to make music something that you bring to the family, rather than something that just takes you away from it.

Which means I know just about every nursery rhyme, christmas song and CBeebies theme tune you can imagine and play them any time and anywhere I'm asked. Would I rather be working on my Clarence White crosspicking licks? Probably. Would I rather the guitar was in its case? Definitely not.

And obviously I don't know your other half, but I find that the above builds up a lot of spousal goodwill too. Make your guitar playing something that makes your kids happy - mums tend to look benevolently upon things that make their kids happy.

Incidentally, reading it back, I have to say this is one of the best bits of advice I've seen for some time, and something I wish I'd thought of when my kids were younger. I always saw guitar playing (when I could find the time) as something that gave me a break from the family, but as @Lewy points out, it's much better to have it be something that you bring to the family.

And maybe you can also stick some Clarence White licks into the theme from Balamory (or whatever, my CBeebies knowledge is very out of date!)

andyoz

I feel like you alot of the time lately.

I pinned it down recently to me trying to learn to play Lead stuff when it just doesn't seem to be 'in my bones'.

I've just concentrated on rhythm (and my right hand which I've really ignored too much).  Maybe coming from acoustic guitar is part of that.

Pretty sure Steve Vai said even he just concentrates on the stuff he's good at.  I'm not going to be playing in a covers band where you have to cover loads of genres.  Find any basic stuff you enjoy and get good enough at that first to a point to where you can start enjoying the playing and not concentrate on technique all the time.  That's what I have found has kept me motivated at least.

That's sort of 'holding pattern' I'm using until the kids get old enough that I can devote on average an hour a day to start doing stuff that pushes me more (and frustrates me)

Like the poster above, I think you'll find you're better than you think. Alot of those little errors you hear playing solo get covered when playing with others.  I'm involved with a local venue and some of the desk multi-track recording we listen back to of bands have some pretty rough guitar and yet the gig had been great overall.

Lewy

markv said:

And maybe you can also stick some Clarence White licks into the theme from Balamory (or whatever, my CBeebies knowledge is very out of date!)

Indeed you can....Old McDonald Had A Farm can be turned into a serious bluegrass rhythm guitar etude too

Nursery rhymes make for great ear training - seeing how quickly you can find such a familiar melody on the instrument is a great exercise and while the kids are singing the words, internally you can be singing the scale degrees to yourself.

You can also write songs for the kids that incorporate things you want to work on. Everyone’s a winner. For me it even precipitated some GAS...the purchase of a bathroom guitar so my good ones don’t get overhumidified from being played at bath time.

guitars4you

Lewy said:

markv said:

And maybe you can also stick some Clarence White licks into the theme from Balamory (or whatever, my CBeebies knowledge is very out of date!)

Indeed you can....Old McDonald Had A Farm can be turned into a serious bluegrass rhythm guitar etude too

Nursery rhymes make for great ear training - seeing how quickly you can find such a familiar melody on the instrument is a great exercise and while the kids are singing the words, internally you can be singing the scale degrees to yourself.

totally agree with this thought - when my daughter was younger had to learn Bob the Builder but as against trying to play it in a corny way - think how J Beck or Hendrix might have played it - speed it up, slow it down, add a bit, add blues etc - you end up getting better and they love it - something to work towards

I remember doing Flint Stones Theme and thinking it is a bit corny, then I found Barney Kessel playing it and Stuart Ryan does a great version - even the chord structure gives you plenty to work on - again play around with it until you make your own version

camoflamingo

Love these posts about being playful and allowing yourself to have fun and just enjoy it. Kiddies' theme tunes is a great idea. Just get better at having fun with it.

If you pack it in you lose all that effort you put in. I wish I could play. My elbow is trashed right now. Don't know if I'll play again and I'm forced into learning keyboard instead.

usedtobe

Didn’t they once do the theme music from Rainbow in Total Guitar, or maybe one of the other magazines..? I seem to remember it being challenging enough, but achievable..

Sesh

usedtobe said:

Didn’t they once do the theme music from Rainbow in Total Guitar, or maybe one of the other magazines..? I seem to remember it being challenging enough, but achievable..

Definitely TG. They did lots of theme tunes like postman pat, red dwarf, Blackadder, snooker and rainbow. And many more. Was one of my favourite sections.

hairboy

Reading all these posts, it reminds me that I really must show more appreciation to my wife for sticking up with all my crap.  We share the chores, and I do my fair share, but after that, if I play the guitar for a couple of hours, she never bothers me, unless she needs something else done, or thinks I'm staying up too late, knowing I'm gonna whinge the next morning about how tired I am (and she's always right!).  My wife is very much easy listening and classical kind of girl, but understands I like rock/metal, and understand that it's a big part of what makes me "me". In return, I never shove my music in her face, and always respect volume limit whenever she and our daughter are around. 

OP - everyone needs a stress relief outlet, and if playing the guitar is it for you, then talk to your wife.  She doesn't have to like it, but she should respect that you do, and that it makes you happy. That alone should be a reason enough for her. Mutual respect for each other and all that.  Good luck mate.

darthed1981

Thanks all for a really positive helpful thread

John_A

Well my Mrs bought me this for my birthday, and complains if I don't play it enough.  IMO It's important to let your other half do the things that make them happy

Fez

Re wives it makes you count your blessings. My Mrs comes to most of our gigs, she brings her knitting, I kid you not and it's saved our bacon a couple of times like when the drummer locked his keys in his car and we used one of J's needles to open the door. She also helps with the meet ups baking cakes for hungry fretboarders. 

OK guitar playing can be a costly, loud and time consuming hobby but hobbies are important as relief from the daily grind. It's people who don't have hobbies that worry me.
After all there are many worse things you could be doing like gambling for instance.

I got through some of the childhood years by playing in the church music group which happened to rehearse at the same time as the childrens club thing in the same church FTW. 

ellwood

I'm based in Hinckley. I'm not that great, and just noodle along on my own. Work commitments mean i can't really commit to a band these days, and I only ever grab half an hour here and there. But I love playing for half an hour just to escape. If you are local let me know, you are always welcome to come over to the cave. There's a bit of kit to play around with it and it would be good to jam occasionally.

tampaxboo

darthed1981 said:

Anyone else ever have dark moments where you consider a fire sale of all your gear and to well, just quit?  Can you justify continuing if you are unhappy with your level of skill and progression?

expectation management. are your high expectations more important to you than the happiness you get from playing? if so stop, and be miserable with high expectations.

Alnico

Google the chords to the theme tune for 'Happy Days'.
It's actually really easy.
Then play along with the theme tune.

You won't want to give up after that.

Teetonetal

Quit for a bit. It will do you good. If you miss it and want to play, pick it up again. Hobbies don't have to be for life.

TADodger

@ellwood - i'm in Rugby and would be up for a jam either here or at yours with you and @darthed1981 ;;if there is space for three...

Samgb

I played pretty intensively from when i first picked up the guitar at 14 until i went to university at 18. By that point i was decent-ish. Then it was on/off/the odd noodle for 10 years or so until i discovered Bert Jansch, Davy Graham and fingerstyle acoustic and i was fanatical again and improved massively for about 2 or 3 years. Then i met the Mrs, you know the rest...kids...house... and i put it down again pretty much until about 3 or 4 years ago. Then for some reason it just clicked again. The kids arent babies, we have a bigger house, i met some new friends through work who were players. Now i play every day. I'm not the greatest player and i still have zero theory but i know i can play and express myself as me, if that makes sense? 
Anyway, i am currently waaaay out of my comfort zone playing in a new band with 3 classically trained musicians. They have to translate what i play to one another but theory aside i am not actually out of my depth. Which is lovely.
So OP - Stick at it, or take a break. If you enjoy it it'll come back to you. If you let it not be fun it won't be    

longi

darthed1981 said:no

Hi All,

Don't worry (OK, you weren't worried) I've not put a flouncing off post in here instead of SC, I've no immediate flouncing plans.

I mean jacking in the hobby of playing guitar.  I often give it some serious consideration.

I don't really have an easy way of going to the next step, I don't have many like-minded friends to jam with or look to form a band, so apart from the enjoyable experience of meeting forumites at the jam session organised here, I don't get a chance to play much with others.

I also literally never get to practise, with work stressing my butt and two small children, I picked up a guitar last night, and I'd gotten worse... when I do turn my amp up a little bit to practise, I get told to turn it down by the wife...

and there is the rub.  As a guy in his mid-30s I know damn well the work and commitment needed to improve and progress at something.  I'm left-handed and play right-handed, so additionally my right hand is my weakest link (i.e. the thing most people learning properly get down FIRST).

Anyone else ever have dark moments where you consider a fire sale of all your gear and to well, just quit?  Can you justify continuing if you are unhappy with your level of skill and progression?

I'm in the same boat as you. I haven't played properly for 18 months. I managed to get a couple of hours in a few weeks ago but with 3 a year child,  a dog and a job that takes takes me away from home working long and irregular hours it's very frustrating. I'll never stop thinking about playing I just don't have the time to do it! Gone are the days (at least for now) of playing for 9 hours a day non stop for a week! I'm 48 and although I don't practice right now it's still all I think about. I'd hang in there at some point you'll have more time on your hands than you know what to do with. I took a 12 year hiatus from the guitar from 1994. Massive mistake. I really wish I hadn't. 

Thankfully it's pretty easy easy to get back to being a competent guitarist pretty quickly. Keep it dormant, at some point you'll be able to go back to it. 

ellwood

TADodger said:

@ellwood - i'm in Rugby and would be up for a jam either here or at yours with you and @darthed1981 ;;if there is space for three...

@TADodger - absolutely! Let me know when works and we can get together. @darthed1981 let me know if you fancy it!

TADodger

ellwood said:

TADodger said:

@ellwood - i'm in Rugby and would be up for a jam either here or at yours with you and @darthed1981 ;;if there is space for three...

@TADodger - absolutely! Let me know when works and we can get together. @darthed1981 let me know if you fancy it!

@ellwood - are you coming to the Northampton Jam?