Jacking it all in...

Vibetronic

That must be really frustrating, but please don't give it all up - you'll massively regret it, and no matter what standard you're at, it's still fun. I think @Alnico 's point about impressing on your wife how much you enjoy it, and what it means to you, is a good one. Fair enough if she doesn't like the sound of it, but that doesn't mean you have to stop doing it altogether; it must be possible even with kids to arrange times when she's out of the house and you can play?  Even 10 minutes a day will see you making improvements. As has already been mentioned, finding a teacher who inspires you can be a massive boost, and (again, already mentioned) recording stuff and writing is also a lot of fun; you can post it up here and nobody is going to judge you on it. 

underdog

Sounds like I need to be more grateful to my wife

darthed1981

Veganic said:

darthed1981 said:

Jalapeno said:

Did we mention the importance of HEADPHONES yet ?

Just to clarify to everyone - I use headphones all the time, or I wouldn't play at all most of the time!

However, if she is in the same room, my wife objects strongly to the acoustic sound of an electric guitar, so it can be a challenge nonetheless!

Someone who shall not be named once said to me:  "if you've got headphones in why can I still hear it?"

No word of a lie, back when my wife worked nights I got told off for making noise downstairs while my wife was upstairs trying to sleep...

Now this WAS on my Epi Dot, so somewhat noisier than the average electric unplugged ... but ...but...

JerkMoans

By Crom, this thread struck a chord.  47, teenage kids etc etc. 

I used to play (badly) when younger, not v accomplished, crap guitar.  Stuck it in the corner when I got married and kids came along, had the odd desultory twang but nothing that could really be deemed 'good' or 'progress'. 

Things changed for me when my kids grew up a bit: both played instruments, my son on drums (he's now teaching them!) and my daughter in the end got a guitar.  I was so proud taking her round the shops trying out every left handed guitar in the place.  And because I had so many bad habits we got her a teacher... and my wife unbeknownst to me bribed the teacher to stay on and give me a lesson, too....  And through a succession of teachers (flaky bunch, musicians) we persevered. 

So at the age of 44 there I was lining up with a bunch of kids to take my Rockschool Grade 5 exam  

I continued with lessons (Trinity) through Grades 6 and 7, my daughter and I encouraging one another although we don't really jam: she hates Led Zep and I'm not much of a fan of Taylor Swift.  My wife encourages me, doesn't get too vexed about my ludicrous GAS attacks and seems to believe that there are far worse things I could be addicted to/wasting my money on.

My point?  I suppose that for me it's been cathartic coming back to playing in middle age.  Having lessons and doing exams has provided some focus rather than endlessly playing Iron Man.  And the involvement and sharing with my family has been a blessing.

Recently we had a pretty bad bit of family difficulty/illness (which is still going on) and for a while all the music went out of me.  Just couldn't pick it up, just like the OP's sentiments seriously considered flogging the lot, knocking it on the head.  Can't say what really changed but one night everyone had gone to bed and I sat up, took down my old strat and had a noodle.  And it chilled me right out.  Since then I've been back at it with a vengeance.  My playing is still not much to write home about but it relaxes me, which is good for everyone, and the obsessive poring over the classifieds on here stops me looking at porn.

Conclusion?  I think we can all go through down times when we feel unmotivated, stressed, 'depressed' and certainly not in the mood to make sweet sweet music.  I've found my own way through just picking up a favourite guitar and noodling about.  Not trying to impress anyone or necessarily 'improve'.  Thinking of shifting most of my pedals, downsizing the amps and going the Zen way.  Ultimately, it really really helps bust the stress.

Apols for the autobiography.  As I said, the OP struck a chord.  Hope you regain your mojo.

GrahamG

Don't know if this helps,but I never play through an Amp at home,i just sit a suitable distance from the telly(if my wife is watching anything)so that I can hear the guitar,without disturbing her(or in your case the rest of the family).
& that way you can pretend your interested in them 
Just sitting & playing the unamped Guitar,Will improve your playing,playing without an Amp maybe isn't everyones(or anyones)cup of tea,but it's a whole lot better than packing in.

ToneControl

for me, guitar playing is my avocation
It is a constant comfort separate from my career

I don't expect to make money from it, and never started it with the intention of providing entertainment for other, I did not feel a drive to "perform"

For me it's like painting watercolours at home, it is definitely as good as meditation for me

the 2 approaches I take are:

1. compose and record stuff. It's amazing how differently compositions make you play
2. compose or learn stuff that sounds and feels great played without any backing (e.g. classical, acoustic, some arrangements on electric)

playing along to famous tracks is ok sometimes

monquixote

I've recently effectively given up (Haven't played at all for something like 4 months now).

Been gigging solidly for about 15 years and at the end of my last band just totally lost the interest. I've got really good gear, I'm a reasonable player and I have a supportive family, but I think I've come to the conclusion that I like playing in a band rather than playing the guitar for its own sake and I can't put up with the bullshit of playing pubs anymore.

Not sure if the enthusiasm will come back, or if it's just time to move on and sell some gear.

GoldenEraGuitars

Same boat myself.. mid 30s, no prospect of a band, no prospect of getting better, not enough time to play etc etc... 

I am surround by guitars but they're being made for other people. I play mine maybe 30 mins a week if I'm lucky. My amp (JMP head and cab) now resides at the mum n laws because until
i build my new workshop/showroom I have nowhere for it.

One guitar and no amp.... sometimes I wonder why I bother tbh.

Schnozz

I've given up a couple of times and as soon as I'm without guitars, I spend all my free time looking at them. I'm really happy with my recently bought-back cort strat and a vox amplug, but I've just bought a couple more nice guitars...But really the former is all I need.

If you haven't tried it, 'rocksmith' is surprisingly entertaining when you're not in a band, but seriously uncool - Gets you playing music you normally wouldn't touch on.

TADodger

@darthed1981, where about are you based, i met you at the Leicester jam and think you are intending to come to the Northampton on, so i'm guessing you're fairly local to both?

I'm in Rugby, and although I am a bit of a 'mature' git, you are welcome to come over and get some practise in with me if you fancy it.

My wife is not a guitar music fan either, but is cool with me being one (sort of)!

NelsonP

Do not jack it in. Everyone needs music in the lives.

I would buy a modeller (doesnt have to be fancy, 2nd hand zoom or pod 2nd or boss gt1 would do) , with an aux in and a headphone out, get onto guitarbackingtrack.com and start learning some songs using YouTube.

You'll learn loads, feel like you are progressing quickly and your wife won't have to hear a thing. 

bigjon

I practise on an unamplified electric first thing in the morning, in the kitchen because it's not directly underneath any of the bedrooms. I'd say my wife is tolerant rather than enthusiastic but she definitely appreciates its usefulness in de-stressing me.

TTBZ

Sounds like we all have this to some extent then! You have to remember it's ok to stop doing something if you're finding no enjoyment in it any more. I've had it loads in the past with guitar and mountain biking but give it enough time and you'll come round to it again and find a new enjoyment for it. And if not then it's no problem. I think it's hard when something has been a part of your life for so long.

I've got an 8 month old at home and my playing has definitely taken a turn for the worse in these 8 months. Just don't have time to play apart from band practice every other week and the odd evening at home. Band practice isnt exactly helping with my playing though as we rarely do anything that stretches me, but it's the only time I get to use a real amp for more than 5 minutes so it's kinda worth it just for that! Still sometimes think about packing that in though - the time could be better spent playing at home stretching myself and writing better music, but then it'd all be through headphones which is a somewhat depressing prospect.

slacker

I continued to play in bands when the kids were young. I looked after them a lot when she was working and rescheduled bands and work around those times. I left one band because the then baby wouldnt go to bed. I had one bass and one acoustic at that time and had strings for my birthday. 

So 30 years on and I dabble playing out. nothing major. I have 8 really good instruments and 3 amps.

Mrs S has a problem with me playing in bands. It comes out that I dont get on with bandmates. I point out that I dont get on with anyone. But as soon as something goes slightly wrong, it's musicians who are the problem. We can talk about idiots at work, our dysfunctional familes and flaky friends, but musicians? So having worked out she had a problem, we had a talk. It wasnt a pleasant talk but we came to a resolution. 

I still do band stuff but I dont complain about it. 

IMHO (and agreeing with Alnico) have a chat with your wife about guitars. 

mrkb

@darthed1981  if you want to jam in Northampton let me know- I’m happy to meet up and guitar or drum along. I stopped playing for 15 years in my 30s, but been back at it 6 years and lots of stuff is starting to make sense the second time of learning it. I’m assuming I’ll keep getting better if I keep playing, and playing with others is a key part of that.
Im happy to book a local practice room where we can make some noise!

mrkb

As for “play me some guitar pieces” - look at interesting but simple songs such as Jonny Cash’s version of Hurt- that works as a solo piece, has a few ‘complex’ sounding chords and you can sing along if needed.

thomasross20

I've been playing and singing Hurt recently - simple yet very effective. Good suggestion

darthed1981

mrkb said:

@darthed1981  if you want to jam in Northampton let me know- I’m happy to meet up and guitar or drum along. I stopped playing for 15 years in my 30s, but been back at it 6 years and lots of stuff is starting to make sense the second time of learning it. I’m assuming I’ll keep getting better if I keep playing, and playing with others is a key part of that.
Im happy to book a local practice room where we can make some noise!

@mrkb ; - Thanks man - there are so many of us round here we should maybe try to make the Northampton jam a regular thing

@TADodger - Are you coming to the Northampton jam?

darthed1981

thomasross20 said:

I've been playing and singing Hurt recently - simple yet very effective. Good suggestion

Yes it is - love that Johnny Cash version.  

TADodger

@darthed1981 - I am fully intending to at the moment.