Things I just don't get.....

rico

Stevepage said:

Trades only confuses me too. 

Or the old favourite "first to see will buy". No I fucking wont, not because you told me so.

Yeah that's a classic. Never really got the premise of it. Are they saying that the first to see will buy because it's the best thing since sliced bread? Or the first to see will buy because of some bizarre contractual order they've placed in the ad?

The mind boggles.

rico

mark123 said:

W.T.B fender 90s usa standard strat rosewood neck 
typical answers...

I've got a 80s blade strat maple neck if your interested? 

Got  a esp strat with a floyd rose beats any usa fender.

I want a fender 90s usa standard strat with r/w neck !
why do people offer different guitars ? 

Also this^

One of the reasons i've given up with facebook marketplace. A while ago I was after a Gibson LP and cue loads of messages trying to hawk anything but what i'd said I wanted...'mate this Epiphone is better than any custom shop i've tried'...'everyone knows ibanez SG's are better than LPs'...'i've got a ES355 for sale, do you want that?'

Just fuck off.

Musicwolf

"I haven't got the cash right now.  Can I pay you £XXX per week?"

wesker123

ICBM said:

Stuckfast said:

Also, if you use phrases such as "collector alert" in your listing, all you've achieved is saving me the time of looking at it.

Likewise "she", "plays like butter", "axe", "toanz", or any of the other usual guitar-speak wankery. Instant complete loss of interest.

Calling Les Paul a Lester. 

skullfunkerry

rico said:

mark123 said:

W.T.B fender 90s usa standard strat rosewood neck 
typical answers...

I've got a 80s blade strat maple neck if your interested? 

Got  a esp strat with a floyd rose beats any usa fender.

I want a fender 90s usa standard strat with r/w neck !
why do people offer different guitars ? 

Also this^

One of the reasons i've given up with facebook marketplace. A while ago I was after a Gibson LP and cue loads of messages trying to hawk anything but what i'd said I wanted...'mate this Epiphone is better than any custom shop i've tried'...'everyone knows ibanez SG's are better than LPs'...'i've got a ES355 for sale, do you want that?'

Just fuck off.

I actually overheard someone in an office once reply to "Has anyone got a green biro I can borrow?" with "No, but I've got a red one if that's any good" O_o

Voxman

Really funny and entertaining thread, thanks to OP and everyone for making me smile on another Monday lockdown!

Quite a few posts so apologies if I missed and already commented on, but my contribution:

"Absolutely immaculate and in mint condition apart from a little buckle rush on the back, a minor ding near the bridge, and a small scratch and small knock on the headstock"
....So, not immaculate or mint then! 

And similarly:
"Absolutely stock and original, apart from a replacement Gotoh bridge, upgraded tuners, and black pickguard (I will include the cream original)" 
....So, not stock and original then!

johnl

"Better than anything out of the Custom shop" from a guy whose collection consists of two Squiers with 5 strings between them. Have also seen people price partscasters to include the cost of their "labour".....

Dave_Vader

simonhpieman said:

The main thing I've never understood:

"My new guitar's on it's way. I can't wait til it arrives so I can replace the bridge, put some "X" pickups in it, rewire the controls, change the pots for "X", change the pickguard and maybe have it refinished."

Can never help but thinking these people are buying the wrong guitar!

Honestly, I have a box of pickups I love but can't bear to part with, so I do buy new guitars hoping the pickups are shit and i can swap the old ones I like in

Of course usually the new ones are pretty good too, so I need to find another guitar to put those in...

Voxman

Dave_Vader said:

simonhpieman said:

The main thing I've never understood:

"My new guitar's on it's way. I can't wait til it arrives so I can replace the bridge, put some "X" pickups in it, rewire the controls, change the pots for "X", change the pickguard and maybe have it refinished."

Can never help but thinking these people are buying the wrong guitar!

Honestly, I have a box of pickups I love but can't bear to part with, so I do buy new guitars hoping the pickups are shit and i can swap the old ones I like in

Of course usually the new ones are pretty good too, so I need to find another guitar to put those in...

To wife "Sorry I've just bought 5 guitars at £1000 each but it's cost efficiency and essential so that I can  try and find a good home for 2 sets of old pickups worth £200."

Must try that one with my wife! 

TheOtherDennis

skullfunkerry said:

rico said:

mark123 said:

W.T.B fender 90s usa standard strat rosewood neck 
typical answers...

I've got a 80s blade strat maple neck if your interested? 

Got  a esp strat with a floyd rose beats any usa fender.

I want a fender 90s usa standard strat with r/w neck !
why do people offer different guitars ? 

Also this^

One of the reasons i've given up with facebook marketplace. A while ago I was after a Gibson LP and cue loads of messages trying to hawk anything but what i'd said I wanted...'mate this Epiphone is better than any custom shop i've tried'...'everyone knows ibanez SG's are better than LPs'...'i've got a ES355 for sale, do you want that?'

Just fuck off.

I actually overheard someone in an office once reply to "Has anyone got a green biro I can borrow?" with "No, but I've got a red one if that's any good" O_o

When I worked in ad agencies in the 80s and 90s, where there were lots of people using markers and felt pens of varying grades of tip, I used to take a perverse delight in annoying people with the following exchange -

Them: "Does anyone have an extra fine red?"

Me: "No, but I have a pretty good one."

I never kept jobs for long. Wonder why.

breakstuff

ICBM said:

Stuckfast said:

Also, if you use phrases such as "collector alert" in your listing, all you've achieved is saving me the time of looking at it.

Likewise "she", "plays like butter", "axe", "toanz", or any of the other usual guitar-speak wankery. Instant complete loss of interest.

Slopes off to Ebay to amend listing

. 

icu81b4

Dave_Vader said:

simonhpieman said:

The main thing I've never understood:

"My new guitar's on it's way. I can't wait til it arrives so I can replace the bridge, put some "X" pickups in it, rewire the controls, change the pots for "X", change the pickguard and maybe have it refinished."

Can never help but thinking these people are buying the wrong guitar!

Honestly, I have a box of pickups I love but can't bear to part with, so I do buy new guitars hoping the pickups are shit and i can swap the old ones I like in

Of course usually the new ones are pretty good too, so I need to find another guitar to put those in...

I'm selling some pickups if you want more - They'll be better than yours  

aroof

" Beats any Gibson, 'Les Paul Killer' " - See this a lot with Yamaha SGs and I hate it. Hyperbole at best, patently untrue in reality. I read this and my mind translates it as 'I am utterly incapable of being objective'

On Ebay "Happy to post but I will not accept any responsibility for damage, by bidding you legally agree to this" - Er, yes, you will. Use Ebay, live with their rules. Also file with "Will accept Paypal (buyer pays fees)"

"Mojo" - Yes, I do star jumps down Carnaby Street and think "Austin Powers" is a documentary, do you have a guitar I might like?

"Investment, that will only increase in value" Just...no.

ICBM

aroof said:

" Beats any Gibson, 'Les Paul Killer' " - See this a lot with Yamaha SGs and I hate it. Hyperbole at best, patently untrue in reality. I read this and my mind translates it as 'I am utterly incapable of being objective'

What's so stupid is that it isn't a contest - one is not better than the other... if you want a Yamaha SG2000, then a Les Paul is not the answer either. (And nor is a Gibson SG.)

Schnozz

A Yamaha SG2000 is closer to a Les Paul Custom than a Standard/SG

Voxman

Schnozz said:

A Yamaha SG2000 is closer to a Les Paul Custom than a Standard/SG

I dunno, with social distancing I think they have to stay the same distance apart now!   

UnclePsychosis

the_jaffa said:

DiscoStu said:

"Cost me £800, looking for £790".

Plus postage

I always really laugh when I see a guitar (or amp) that's being advertised for something silly like "£2495, plus postage". 

Like...really? Just factor the postage cost into the asking price for goodness sake. Its even better when its a really expensive thing, "£19,999 plus postage". Away, ya chancer. 

midlifecrisis

always the old favourite no timewasters, that counts me out then

urban_winter

People listing unremarkable used guitars at 80% of retail when the exact same model is still readily available new. I just don't get it. There's at least one good example in the classifieds at the moment. 

RonnieHotdogs

Relic'd guitars
Modelling amps
99% of solid body guitars
Obsessing with weight and neck profile