Flying: Things that irk me.

Gassage

I am a nervous flyer. 

I am encyclopaedic on flying, how to fly a plane, what can go wrong. I have gone on A300, A320 and &3 Flight sims to overcome and to learn. I am virtually an authority on crashes and their causes.

I have flown on everything going, hundreds of times.

But nothing works- in fact the more I learn the worse it is.

However, airlines blather on about safety, yet they don't make things easy for nervous PAX.

Things crew do that I hate:

1. DO NOT TALK BOLLOCKS when on climb out. I don't wanna know until we reach cruise. If you as attendants are talking, you are not focused on safety since the climb out is a key risk moment.
2, DO NOT TALK BOLLOCKS TRYING TO UPSELL- this again is infuriating. You're there to look after my safety (your words) not upsell mascara.
3. DO NOT TRY AND MAKE SAFETY BRIEFINGS FUNNY OR QUIRKY. They are key briefings which should be concise and professional.
4. DO not overcrowd back galley loo on narrowbody scheduled flight because there's 2 PAX in Club Europe. Use common sense- Safety>Privilege and if you get 10 pax queuing, a) it's dangerous in any case b) you're actually affecting the COG of plane on something like an Embreaer.
5. DO NOT TALK BOLLOCKS until the taxiing has finished- this is a key risk moment. See 11.
6. DO NOT TAXI like a twat because you're on a 30 min turnaround. 10knts is max for a turn and attempting a handbrake turn with a 73 isn't cool.

There's just a few. I'm sure I can think of more.

Offset

Flying - things that irk me?  Every single fucking thing about it I can think of.

• I hate passegers being treated like cattle.
• I hate every airline's inability to take off on time - EVER.
• I hate airlines' shite comms and contempt for the people who pay them their hard-earned.
• I hate each and every single airport I've ever flown from.  But Atlanta is definitely the worst with JFK a close second.
• I hate checking in.  Online, in person, whatever - it sucks like an Electrolux.  And usually broken in some way.
• I hate most airlines.  From experience, worst airline - Wizz.  By a country mile.  Best airline - Delta.  A low bar though.
• I hate around 25% of the passengers I fly with, regardless of destination or nationality.
• I hate small screaming babies whose parents think it's acceptable to interrupt everyone's overnight sleep.  IT ISN'T.
• I hate airport parking with a passion.
• I hate watching aircrew waltz through security whilst I stand in a THREE FUCKING HOUR LONG QUEUE.
• I hate getting up at 03:00 to get to the fucking airport.

I could go on and on but my blood pressure is now dangerously high.

dazzajl

Offset said:

Flying - things that irk me?  Every single fucking thing about it I can think of.

• I hate passegers being treated like cattle.
• I hate every airline's inability to take off on time - EVER.
• I hate airlines' shite comms and contempt for the people who pay them their hard-earned.
• I hate each and every single airport I've ever flown from.  But Atlanta is definitely the worst with JFK a close second.
• I hate checking in.  Online, in person, whatever - it sucks like an Electrolux.  And usually broken in some way.
• I hate most airlines.  From experience, worst airline - Wizz.  By a country mile.  Best airline - Delta.  A low bar though.
• I hate around 25% of the passengers I fly with, regardless of destination or nationality.
• I hate small screaming babies whose parents think it's acceptable to interrupt everyone's overnight sleep.  IT ISN'T.
• I hate airport parking with a passion.
• I hate watching aircrew waltz through security whilst I stand in a THREE FUCKING HOUR LONG QUEUE.
• I hate getting up at 03:00 to get to the fucking airport.

I could go on and on but my blood pressure is now dangerously high.

Maybe next time just send a memo?

thecolourbox

The main thing about the experience itself which irks me is that they are unable to offer a nice cup of tea

Offset

Adey

I hate having to pay extra to fit in a seat just because I'm tall.

I wouldn't mind so much if they ensurde that short people (that's everyone under 6'5") had something installed in front of their knees that meant that they could fit properly in the seat that made the whole flight uncomfortable and found it difficult to walk when they got off too

Roland

As an erstwhile frequent flier I hate airport food, much of which contain additives which make me ill. Redeeming factor is that sometimes there’s a non-chain food outlet. They’ve probably gone now, but Charles de Gaulle had an excellent pizzeria in the basement of the doughnut, and Milan Malpensa had somewhere serving freshly cooked food right at the top of the building land-side.

I also hate being forced to wend my way through that expensive shopping experience known as Duty Free.

Apart from that I like flying.

viz

Offset said:

Flying - things that irk me?  Every single fucking thing about it I can think of.

• I hate every airline's inability to take off on time - EVER.

The scheduled time isn’t actually supposed to be take-off time. I think it’s the time the gate closes. 

Adey

Duty free "wending" is like being in IKEA, but about 1/50th of the "wendage"

sev112

Adey said:

I hate having to pay extra to fit in a seat just because I'm tall.

I wouldn't mind so much if they ensurde that short people (that's everyone under 6'5") had something installed in front of their knees that meant that they could fit properly in the seat that made the whole flight uncomfortable and found it difficult to walk when they got off too

I hate having my legroom taken away because I brought along a rucksack whereas greedy people bring suitcases and put them in the overheads !  Rather than have my rucksack in my legroom it should be under the seat of a suitcase cary-oner

Timcito

We get mocked for saying 'things were better before,' but in this case it's so horribly true that anyone in their 50s and 60s who remembers pre-9/11 flying has a nagging memory of what it used to be like. Even from the outset, time was when we went to a friendly travel agent who sorted us out within about 15 minutes, and out we walked with our ticket with the best possible option for our needs. Now, the system is all 'fuck-off-and-do-it-yourself', and we trawl through internet pages, clicking here and there with passwords, passport numbers, personal info, and god knows what. If something goes wrong, you're back to square one.

And that's just the beginning. Throughout the 80s and 90s, I traveled internationally on a regular basis because I worked overseas. It seems odd to think that the flight to or from England was something I actually looked forward to! I allowed myself the luxury of a taxi to the airport, got rid of my bags almost immediately, enjoyed wandering round the airport stores and having snacks here and there, enjoyed settling in my seat on the place, usually with plenty of space because flights were often not full, and the various routines - the nice meals, the films if it was a long flight), the sleepy comfort of the cabin, and the chance to do some reading. It was all like a bit of a taste of the good life! Once landed, the process of collecting bags was simple.

Last fall, I attempted to book a flight via Indian Airways (aka British Airways to some - god knows why!) only to have have a hitch connected with my credit card, which of course had to be settled by my British bank in, you guessed it, India! I'd spent over an hour battling with the online booking before throwing in the towel. Unfortunately, I found that once I'd got through to India on the phone, my bank did not trust its Indian workers with the fine details of my account, so a 'ticket' had to be created. After hours and hours had passed, I reluctantly used my wife's credit card to make the booking. The following day I got a call from Indian Airways saying that they were very sorry but my seat had been canceled, but that they could fix me up with another one. No. No effing way. But how vill you make your trip, sir? I won't. I'll stay at home, dammit! And that's what I did.

I haven't been back to the UK to see my brother since 2017. The pandemic intervened, and then this debacle happened last Christmas. But the truth is, my heart sinks at the thought of booking and taking an international flight now. I'm frankly amazed at the numbers of people who do it for non-essential purposes. Perhaps they're too young to know that things were so much better before!    

boogieman

Offset said:

Flying - things that irk me?  Every single fucking thing about it I can think of.

• I hate passegers being treated like cattle.
• I hate every airline's inability to take off on time - EVER.
• I hate airlines' shite comms and contempt for the people who pay them their hard-earned.
• I hate each and every single airport I've ever flown from.  But Atlanta is definitely the worst with JFK a close second.
• I hate checking in.  Online, in person, whatever - it sucks like an Electrolux.  And usually broken in some way.
• I hate most airlines.  From experience, worst airline - Wizz.  By a country mile.  Best airline - Delta.  A low bar though.
• I hate around 25% of the passengers I fly with, regardless of destination or nationality.
• I hate small screaming babies whose parents think it's acceptable to interrupt everyone's overnight sleep.  IT ISN'T.
• I hate airport parking with a passion.
• I hate watching aircrew waltz through security whilst I stand in a THREE FUCKING HOUR LONG QUEUE.
• I hate getting up at 03:00 to get to the fucking airport.

I could go on and on but my blood pressure is now dangerously high.

We went to Greece via Gatwick a few weeks back. Got to the check in desk: humongous queue. Then a nice TUI lady stepped out from the barrier and said are you flying with us? Turns out the massive queue was for WizzAir (I agree, they’re awful). We waltzed through to an empty desk, got the check in done in no time, then there was virtually no queue at security either. I couldn’t quite believe it. 

Three and a half hour delay coming back though. Down to an air traffic control problem so we didn’t qualify for flight compensation. Bastards! 

I do have a tiny bit of sympathy for parents flying with babies, as it’s the change of air pressure in their ears that sets them off, and that can’t be helped. Still bloody annoying though if it’s a night flight. 

Addis Ababa is the worst airport I’ve ever been through. The ceiling was leaking when we were there, there was a big rainstorm at the time and there were buckets everywhere, vainly trying to catch all the torrents of water pissing through the roof. 

The toilets absolutely stank. 

All the food venues were shut. 

To complete the misery there was a bunch of pissed up Koreans next to us playing a super loud, presumably Korean, version of snap. This was at 3 in the frigging morning. 

Axe_meister

Flying is fine.
I hate airports. At 6am I do not want Heston/Oliver/Ramsey. I want a sausage and Egg McMuffin.
A decent cup of Coffee not Champagne.
If I've forgotten to pack a shirt, I don't want to pay £100 for a bloody Hugo boss.
Why can't they board by seat number. Those at the back get on first.

Jfingers

The whole experience is mostly shite from start to finish every single time, live with that for the end result or just don't do it anymore.

Nobody is asking you to kill the planet...

TimmyO

Gassage said:

I am a nervous flyer. 

I am encyclopaedic on flying, how to fly a plane, what can go wrong. I have gone on A300, A320 and &3 Flight sims to overcome and to learn. I am virtually an authority on crashes and their causes.

I have flown on everything going, hundreds of times.

But nothing works- in fact the more I learn the worse it is.

However, airlines blather on about safety, yet they don't make things easy for nervous PAX.

Things crew do that I hate:

1. DO NOT TALK BOLLOCKS when on climb out. I don't wanna know until we reach cruise. If you as attendants are talking, you are not focused on safety since the climb out is a key risk moment.
2, DO NOT TALK BOLLOCKS TRYING TO UPSELL- this again is infuriating. You're there to look after my safety (your words) not upsell mascara.
3. DO NOT TRY AND MAKE SAFETY BRIEFINGS FUNNY OR QUIRKY. They are key briefings which should be concise and professional.
4. DO not overcrowd back galley loo on narrowbody scheduled flight because there's 2 PAX in Club Europe. Use common sense- Safety>Privilege and if you get 10 pax queuing, a) it's dangerous in any case b) you're actually affecting the COG of plane on something like an Embreaer.
5. DO NOT TALK BOLLOCKS until the taxiing has finished- this is a key risk moment. See 11.
6. DO NOT TAXI like a twat because you're on a 30 min turnaround. 10knts is max for a turn and attempting a handbrake turn with a 73 isn't cool.

There's just a few. I'm sure I can think of more.

Don't believe everything you think 

stickyfiddle

I’ve flown a couple of hundred times. 

There is no reason food & drinks have to taste shit because in first they taste absolutely fine (thank airmiles!) 

Air stewards & stewardesses and chatting shit during taxi takeoff and landing because they know from experience that nothing is going to happen, and they know from training that they’ll click into muscle memory safety mode and everything will be fine. 

My biggest pet peeves… 
- parents who don’t try shut sit their kid up or stop them kicking the seat in front. I don’t blame the kid - flying’s shitty. But if the parents aren’t even trying…  
- dickheads who stand right next to the baggage belt. If everyone keeps a 1m gap then everyone can see and it’s super easy
- dickheads who don’t know what their bag looks like, or bought a plain black bag and didn’t put a colourful ribbon or lock or baggage strap on it and have to check every single black bag

ALR

I fly a lot. All these things could irk me but don’t. Most of the points in the first post could be addressed with some noise cancelling headphones.

Roland

boogieman said:

Addis Ababa is the worst airport I’ve ever been through. The ceiling was leaking when we were there, there was a big rainstorm at the time and there were buckets everywhere, vainly trying to catch all the torrents of water pissing through the roof. 

The toilets absolutely stank. 

All the food venues were shut. 

You obviously haven’t been through Kathmandu. 

Offset

viz said:

Offset said:

Flying - things that irk me?  Every single fucking thing about it I can think of.

• I hate every airline's inability to take off on time - EVER.

The scheduled time isn’t actually supposed to be take-off time. I think it’s the time the gate closes. 

I STILL FUCKING HATE IT!!!!

Philly_Q

I haven't been on a flight since 2017 and the last time I went outside the UK was 2001.  It doesn't sound like I'm missing much.

guitargeek62

Gassage said:

I am a nervous flyer. 

I am encyclopaedic on flying, how to fly a plane, what can go wrong. I have gone on A300, A320 and &3 Flight sims to overcome and to learn. I am virtually an authority on crashes and their causes.

I have flown on everything going, hundreds of times.

But nothing works- in fact the more I learn the worse it is.

However, airlines blather on about safety, yet they don't make things easy for nervous PAX.

Things crew do that I hate:

1. DO NOT TALK BOLLOCKS when on climb out. I don't wanna know until we reach cruise. If you as attendants are talking, you are not focused on safety since the climb out is a key risk moment.
2, DO NOT TALK BOLLOCKS TRYING TO UPSELL- this again is infuriating. You're there to look after my safety (your words) not upsell mascara.
3. DO NOT TRY AND MAKE SAFETY BRIEFINGS FUNNY OR QUIRKY. They are key briefings which should be concise and professional.
4. DO not overcrowd back galley loo on narrowbody scheduled flight because there's 2 PAX in Club Europe. Use common sense- Safety>Privilege and if you get 10 pax queuing, a) it's dangerous in any case b) you're actually affecting the COG of plane on something like an Embreaer.
5. DO NOT TALK BOLLOCKS until the taxiing has finished- this is a key risk moment. See 11.
6. DO NOT TAXI like a twat because you're on a 30 min turnaround. 10knts is max for a turn and attempting a handbrake turn with a 73 isn't cool.

There's just a few. I'm sure I can think of more.

In the nicest possible way, passengers like you would annoy me.