Flying: Things that irk me.

Haych

@UnclePsychosis that started off quite heartwarming. If I’d been there I think I would have to have said something. 

Bureaucratic officiousness at its finest!  

VimFuego

man, I look good in a hi viz with a clipboard.

UnclePsychosis

Haych said:

@UnclePsychosis that started off quite heartwarming. If I’d been there I think I would have to have said something. 

Many people did! 

Dominic

UnclePsychosis said:

@Haych your post reminds me of one of the most ridiculous airport experiences I've ever had:

Its late, like 1am or 2am late. Stansted Airport, international arrivals, specifically customs. Everyone is tired and pissed off, because its 2am and we're in customs in fucking Stansted Airport. 

The queue is maaaaaaaassive. Hundreds of tired, pissed off people who just want to be anywhere else. Imagine the biggest airport queue you can, then make it bigger. 

There's a young woman, late twenties, just ahead of me. She is travelling on her own, with a babe in arms, and also a small toddler - maybe two years old, tops. She also has to manage luggage for the three of them. You can tell it's been a long day for her. 

Toddler is screaming. You know, because its 2am and we're all grumpy and we all want to go home and because being in a queue in Stansted Airport is miserable when you're a grown up and you understand what's happening, nevermind when you're two, and your mum can't give you a cuddle because she's carrying your sibling and a suitcase and a rucksack and fuck knows what else. Mum is doing her best but the only thing that is going to fix this is being anywhere else. 

Then, some kind soul says to her - - - she didn't ask - - - "look love, I've been where you are, it's miserable, you're definitely in more need than me, you go ahead in front". Mum is so grateful she looks like she's going to cry. 

This cascades - passengers start ushering the three of them to the front. This isnt entirely selfless, of course - we all hate screaming children and just want it to stop. But the point is that a queue of British people are voluntarily ushering someone else to the front. Its like a fucking miracle. In Stansted. At 2am.

That is, until the airport worker in the hi-viz vest and the clip board spots whats happening. Literally hi-viz and clipboard. Absolutely perfect accompaniment for what comes out of this person's mouth next. Imagine the snootiest, snidest, I have a hi-viz vest and a clipboard arsehole that you can... 

"excuse me madam, we all have to wait our turn. You'll just need to wait like every body else". 

I genuinely think that was the closest I've ever come to seeing a mob tear someone limb from limb. Seeing the jobsworth suffer the humiliation of an entire queue ignoring them to push the woman forward anyway, then suffering a good half hour of muttering, head shaking, and pointing from almost literally the entire queue, was absolutely fucking fabulous. 

They're a type.....
"I'll show 'em ......nobody messes with Jones from Accounts Payable " !

Emp_Fab

Gassage said:

Emp_Fab said:

Jeez.  All this moaning!  Flying is amazing....  The fact you can travel in the sky at 500mph and go places around the world for next to nothing. 

I don't understand nervous fliers at all.  The facts, proveably accurate, show that flying is one of, if not THE safest ways of getting from a to b.

Fear of flying is completely irrational.

Fear of being stuck in an uncomfortable economy class seat on a long haul trip next with a bloke with halitosis on one side and a screaming child on the other - that's very very real indeed.

So- flying is safer by distance travelled.

But, measured by deaths by journeys completed (cycles) it is less safe.

OK.....  these are live shots from Flightradar 24....    At any given moment there are around eleven to fifteen THOUSAND airliners in the sky.  It's like this 24h a day, 365 days a year.   The most recent crash of a passenger jet was back in March 2022 and that was a Chinese 737.

Now picture you're getting on board a plane on any given day.  The chances of that day being one of the mind-bogglingly rare ones where a plane falls out of the sky is microscopically small.  The chances that you're flying on that mind-bogglingly rare day AND happen to be on that ONE specific plane out of that sea of yellow icons below is near as dammit zero.  Also, these screenshots are just the flights in the air tonight at midnight, so in any 24h period there will be maybe eight or more times as many flights in that day than can be shown in a freeze-frame of what's going on at this moment.

These shots aren't super clear - go and have a look at the real thing yourself; https://www.flightradar24.com/

@gassage

blobb

Usually, I'm guiding a blind person through security. Our routine is to sit it out so we are last to leave the plane, let everyone else bash each other to bits getting off and slowly make our way to passport control. Then sit it out again until we are last ones through. One thing I notice doing this is that the scowling passport checkers are ever so nice and friendly to us when we get there. None of this look down, look up, look down, grimace, suck through teeth thing. They have dealt with the masses, we get called up together, they open barriers up to help. The stern face is just a face. With one exception.

We get there one time and there was a woman talking to the guy at the desk. She had been with her 5 year old daughter who had a British passport. They let her through, then stopped her mum going through for some reason. Abandoned her 'air side' while her daughter wandered off into arrivals.  She was screaming at them to allow her to get her daughter but no way would they show any compassion. 

We got through and retrieved daughter, took her back but the 'controller' wouldn't allow daughter back through to be with mum. So they stood there one either side of that little border checkpoint box completely lost what to do. The controller was being a complete stone faced arse, yet five minutes before he was all 'did you have a nice holiday' to us. 

This was peak 'hostile environment' time. 

The Dutch are the best, so aware of disabilities but also funny. I saw one security guy tap a chap on his shoulder and say 'You. You must come with me'. They guy looks shocked and a little worried at which point all of the other security guys burst out laughing 'Calm down man, just joking. Enjoy your flight'.  

 

Timcito

blobb said:

The Dutch are the best, so aware of disabilities but also funny. I saw one security guy tap a chap on his shoulder and say 'You. You must come with me'. They guy looks shocked and a little worried at which point all of the other security guys burst out laughing 'Calm down man, just joking. Enjoy your flight'.  

That's a bit over the top. When you spin it the other way round, passengers who make jokes can get into real trouble: "Do you have any gifts in your bag, sir?" "No. just a couple of bombs for later! Hey, man, I was only joking!"

Not the best environment for wise-ass jokes, I think.

Gassage

Emp_Fab said:

Gassage said:

Emp_Fab said:

Jeez.  All this moaning!  Flying is amazing....  The fact you can travel in the sky at 500mph and go places around the world for next to nothing. 

I don't understand nervous fliers at all.  The facts, proveably accurate, show that flying is one of, if not THE safest ways of getting from a to b.

Fear of flying is completely irrational.

Fear of being stuck in an uncomfortable economy class seat on a long haul trip next with a bloke with halitosis on one side and a screaming child on the other - that's very very real indeed.

So- flying is safer by distance travelled.

But, measured by deaths by journeys completed (cycles) it is less safe.

OK.....  these are live shots from Flightradar 24....    At any given moment there are around eleven to fifteen THOUSAND airliners in the sky.  It's like this 24h a day, 365 days a year.   The most recent crash of a passenger jet was back in March 2022 and that was a Chinese 737.

Now picture you're getting on board a plane on any given day.  The chances of that day being one of the mind-bogglingly rare ones where a plane falls out of the sky is microscopically small.  The chances that you're flying on that mind-bogglingly rare day AND happen to be on that ONE specific plane out of that sea of yellow icons below is near as dammit zero.  Also, these screenshots are just the flights in the air tonight at midnight, so in any 24h period there will be maybe eight or more times as many flights in that day than can be shown in a freeze-frame of what's going on at this moment.

These shots aren't super clear - go and have a look at the real thing yourself; https://www.flightradar24.com/

@gassage

18 dead in a prang in Nepal today.

stickyfiddle

One more that I don't think has been mentioned is fairly recently I've noticed people who are sitting at the back dumping their presumable very heavy carry-on in a bin at the front then fucking off to their seat at the back. Which starts a cascade of EVERYONE ELSE having to put their own bags in the wrong place because there isn't room above their heads. Absolutely some of the most brainless and cunty behaviour I've ever seen

stickyfiddle

Gassage said:

18 dead in a prang in Nepal today.

Private plane and a small one at that, and poor visibility has also been reported. It's very likely some combination of a poorly trained pilot in a poorly maintained aircraft on a poorly maintained runway with poor quality rescue services on site. Nepal has a pretty atrocious record, sadly

But it's a relatively easy situation to avoid in the western world

Timcito

stickyfiddle said:

One more that I don't think has been mentioned is fairly recently I've noticed people who are sitting at the back dumping their presumable very heavy carry-on in a bin at the front then fucking off to their seat at the back. Which starts a cascade of EVERYONE ELSE having to put their own bags in the wrong place because there isn't room above their heads. Absolutely some of the most brainless and cunty behaviour I've ever seen

That's horrible!

The problem is that flying puts us in shockingly close contact with the rest of humanity, way closer than in any other sphere of life. We're all thrown together in a severely constricted environment, with bodies rubbing up against us and heaving past us,  and the proximity is frightful. What makes it even worse is, as you suggest, when people try to muscle in on even the pathetically small spaces that we've paid for and feel entitled to - a fat person in the seat next to us or an outsider attempting to usurp the luggage bin above our heads. 

Timcito

Double post.

Snap

I have flown and do fly quite often. Lots of business class in the past as well.
People are the main problem with flying, above everything else.

Flown with Ryanair a lot recently - the shittest thing about them is how they cram everyone through the gate and then have you standing around waiting to either get on the plane or the bus to the plane. I sussed this recently - you just don't board until the very last person, then you don't have to faff around.

Next problems are all people related:

Sniffers. This also applies to all public transport - just  wtf is this insistent manic sniffing and grebbin about??! Use a chuffing tissue you snot nosed beast. 

Farters - well obnoxious.

BO - is it too much to ask someone to clean themselves before getting on a flight with a load of other people?? I once endured a 10 hour flight next to the smelliest man in the world. Not only were his armpits stinking to high heaven he also had dogshit breath. That filthmonger should have been turned away at boarding.

Standing up as soon as the seatbelt lights go off after landing - why? You can't get off you thick gets. You are simply releasing fart stink and making the plane hot.

Security - is it not blindingly clear that you can't have 14 yoghurts, a litre of fanta, five gas lighters and a knife in your hand luggage? Can these people not read signs?

people in airports generally  - chill the chuff out you morons. Everything.

and flipflops - well, just flipflops anywhere except round the poool/beach. No need.

Emp_Fab

Gassage said:

Emp_Fab said:

Gassage said:

Emp_Fab said:

Jeez.  All this moaning!  Flying is amazing....  The fact you can travel in the sky at 500mph and go places around the world for next to nothing. 

I don't understand nervous fliers at all.  The facts, proveably accurate, show that flying is one of, if not THE safest ways of getting from a to b.

Fear of flying is completely irrational.

Fear of being stuck in an uncomfortable economy class seat on a long haul trip next with a bloke with halitosis on one side and a screaming child on the other - that's very very real indeed.

So- flying is safer by distance travelled.

But, measured by deaths by journeys completed (cycles) it is less safe.

OK.....  these are live shots from Flightradar 24....    At any given moment there are around eleven to fifteen THOUSAND airliners in the sky.  It's like this 24h a day, 365 days a year.   The most recent crash of a passenger jet was back in March 2022 and that was a Chinese 737.

Now picture you're getting on board a plane on any given day.  The chances of that day being one of the mind-bogglingly rare ones where a plane falls out of the sky is microscopically small.  The chances that you're flying on that mind-bogglingly rare day AND happen to be on that ONE specific plane out of that sea of yellow icons below is near as dammit zero.  Also, these screenshots are just the flights in the air tonight at midnight, so in any 24h period there will be maybe eight or more times as many flights in that day than can be shown in a freeze-frame of what's going on at this moment.

These shots aren't super clear - go and have a look at the real thing yourself; https://www.flightradar24.com/

@gassage

18 dead in a prang in Nepal today.

I did say passenger jet.  Unless you're doing some pretty exotic, off the beaten track routes, you're not going to be flying on anything other than proper modern passenger jets - which are the safest form of long distance travel. 

The chances of you dying in a modern passenger jet are virtually nil.  Fear of flying is completely irrational.

Offset

Emp_Fab said:

Fear of flying is completely irrational.

Fear of most things is completely irrational.  Unfortunately that is of no help when I'm at 35,000 feet and the wine has run out.

Danny1969

Offset said:

Emp_Fab said:

Fear of flying is completely irrational.

Fear of most things is completely irrational.  Unfortunately that is of no help when I'm at 35,000 feet and the wine has run out.

On BA you can go on their ap and order a drink at any point as far as I can tell. I've used this loads of times . Failing that you can go and get a couple of bottles in the duty free and put them in your carry on, no one gets searched on the way into the plane

The publicity around the 737 Max has spooked a lot of people who normally didn't think much about flying. What surprised a lot of people who thought aviation was 100 % safe were things like

Boeing were allowed to self certify their own planes 

Boeing had to install software on a plane to prevent a stall if the angle of attack was too steep ... because the modern engines were too big to go where the engines would normally go ... 

Boeing lied about the software and some pilots had no idea it was there or how to defeat it if a dodgy sensor triggered it. 

Although two AoA 2 sensors were used they didn't have to agree with each other. One faulty one could pitch the plane down via the horizontal stabilizer. 

Just as things are calming down and confidence is returning to Boeing a door plug blows off a plane. Luckily they are over land and not halfway to Hawaii (which was that planes intended use ) ... had thad even happened at 30K feet over the Pacific it could have been a terrible disaster. The cause, bolts not fitted correctly ! 

Then of course more and more air traffic has made flying more dangerous and climate change has created more unpredictable weather which will increase the danger as time goes on. 

Timcito

Snap said:

 ... Next problems are all people related:

Sniffers. This also applies to all public transport - just  wtf is this insistent manic sniffing and grebbin about??! Use a chuffing tissue you snot nosed beast. 

Farters - well obnoxious.

BO - is it too much to ask someone to clean themselves before getting on a flight with a load of other people?? I once endured a 10 hour flight next to the smelliest man in the world. Not only were his armpits stinking to high heaven he also had dogshit breath. That filthmonger should have been turned away at boarding.

Standing up as soon as the seatbelt lights go off after landing - why? You can't get off you thick gets. You are simply releasing fart stink and making the plane hot.

Security - is it not blindingly clear that you can't have 14 yoghurts, a litre of fanta, five gas lighters and a knife in your hand luggage? Can these people not read signs?

people in airports generally  - chill the chuff out you morons. Everything.

and flipflops - well, just flipflops anywhere except round the poool/beach. No need.

Equity, eh? Who needs it!   

ICBM

Danny1969 said: 

Just as things are calming down and confidence is returning to Boeing a door plug blows off a plane. Luckily they are over land and not halfway to Hawaii (which was that planes intended use ) ... had thad even happened at 30K feet over the Pacific it could have been a terrible disaster. The cause, bolts not fitted !

Corrected.

Danny1969

ICBM said:

Danny1969 said: 

Just as things are calming down and confidence is returning to Boeing a door plug blows off a plane. Luckily they are over land and not halfway to Hawaii (which was that planes intended use ) ... had thad even happened at 30K feet over the Pacific it could have been a terrible disaster. The cause, bolts not fitted !

Corrected.

I was going to put bolts not fitted but couldn't remember it they were fitted but not tightened or not fitted at all ..

Kittyfrisk

Emp_Fab said:

I did say passenger jet.  Unless you're doing some pretty exotic, off the beaten track routes, you're not going to be flying on anything other than proper modern passenger jets - which are the safest form of long distance travel. 

The chances of you dying in a modern passenger jet are virtually nil.  Fear of flying is completely irrational.

Come on man, it isn't hard & doesn't contradict your assertion about safety.
 Phobia: an extreme fear or dislike of a particular thing or situation, especially one that is not reasonable.
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/phobia