Flying: Things that irk me.

Gassage

Tannin said:

I miss the old-fashioned flying experience.

As  a kid, I used to fly many times a year. My father was a pilot so we got a staff discount (90% off) on top of my child's half fare. So it used to cost 80 cents ( = 40p) to fly me from Melbourne to Devonport or Wynyard. (I.e., Victoria to Tasmania across Bass Strait, about 450 kilometres - think London to Paris.) My parents - presumably to get rid of me - used to pack me off on my own to stay with one granny or the other nearly every school holidays - so say twice a year, plus any family trips to Brisbane, Darwin, Sydney, North Queensland, wherever.

 In those days we flew on proper aeroplanes - Fokker Friendships, Vickers Viscounts, DC-4s and DC-6s, sometimes a DC-3, and a bit later on 727s and DC-9s. More often than not  (seeing as my father was a pilot with the same airline) I'd be invited to go up to the cockpit and and sit in the jump seat.

Those were different days.

Flying today just isn't the same. Bring back the Viscount!

I agree with this.

Another moan is aircraft are boring now.
I miss trijets
I miss the chance of a deep t-tail stall on a rear engined plane
I miss the roar and dirt of prehush kits and turbofans.
I miss smoking a ciggie after take off
I miss orange, brown and cream interiors
I miss a trolly dolly walking down the isle with a can of some smelly insecticide just before landing
I miss headphones that are literally a hollow plastic tube

drofluf

Sporky said:

elstoof said:

You are twice as likely to be dealt a Royal Fush in poker than you are to be a passenger on a plane crash. Sure, someone out there will be dealt a Royal Flush, but it almost certainly won’t be you, and the same goes for plane crashes

What about if you're playing poker in an aeroplane's toilet? 

No you need to poke her to get into the mile high club.

Emp_Fab

I can't sleep on planes for one reason only - the seats are the most uncomfortable, misshapen, sliding PVC, lumpy bastards ever.  

The best seats are the two at the very front.  However, falling asleep in those is frowned upon.

Timcito

drofluf said:

Sporky said:

elstoof said:

You are twice as likely to be dealt a Royal Fush in poker than you are to be a passenger on a plane crash. Sure, someone out there will be dealt a Royal Flush, but it almost certainly won’t be you, and the same goes for plane crashes

What about if you're playing poker in an aeroplane's toilet? 

No you need to poke her to get into the mile high club.

In addition, we don't get incinerated or spattered all over the fuselage if we get a royal flush!    

VimFuego

Tannin said:

Haych said:

Even the best noise cancelling headphones wouldn't help.  

 Noise-cancelling headphones help. A bit. But they aren't a silver bullet.

just as well really, taking any sort of bullet onto an aircraft, especially in this age of distrust and fear, is a really bad fucking idea. Doesn't matter what the other kids are doing, it's not cool and it's not clever.