Friday humour

strtdv

Will glass coffins ever catch on?

Remains to be seen

Jonathangus

@Haych ; - I'll see your Bean Jovi, and I'll raise you:

TheMarlin

proggy

HAL9000 said:

proggy said:

Why did the chicken hold a séance?

To get to the other side.

Actually this is the original meaning of the joke - it comes from a time when séances where more common and terms like ‘the other side’ were more widely used. A chicken crossing a road was likely to get killed and so the punchline had a double meaning (which has now pretty much disappeared).

Thanks @HAL9000 I didn't know that. I feel enlightened.

proggy

My dyslexic mate got thrown out of the Polling Station yesterday for exposing himself.

The sign actually read: 'Please mark the ballot papers with your own pens.'

No medical definitions please, it's just a joke.

TheMarlin

TheMarlin

proggy

It's all fun and games, sure. But one of these days a mime artist will lock themselves in their greenhouse and nobody will help them.

AlexC

A mate of mine says it's the law that you have to put your dipped headlights on when it's raining in Sweden. How the fuck am I supposed to know when it's raining in Sweden?

TheMarlin

TheMarlin

proggy

Me:  "I'm going to open this kitchen drawer"

Potato Masher:  "That's what you bloody think"

Haych

Jonathangus

Haych

Snags

Kebabkid

 https://i.imgur.com/r8E5nv0.jpg

Grunfeld

Man goes in a pub.

Barman said, "sorry, we don't serve drinks to exotic fruit."

rogd

Took me a while!!

guitars4you

Grunfeld said:

Man goes in a pub.

Barman said, "sorry, we don't serve drinks to exotic fruit."

just didn't get that - read it 3/4 times then I got it - Excellent