Friday humour

breakstuff

Kittyfrisk said:

Happy Valentines Day 

How to wisdom this without giving away how my night has gone. 

Poboy

Better than my night then.

HAL9000

My girlfriend is upset with me because I didn’t buy her flowers.

I didn’t even know she sold flowers!

chillidoggy

Highlight of my evening was a chicken curry.

Poboy

I wish I had a chicken curry... 

boogieman

I got chicken bhuna and lamb madras. 

And afters. 

Stevepage

chillidoggy said:

Highlight of my evening was a chicken curry.

Highlight of mine with the Mrs was too much red wine in the Spag Bol. 

Very much Keith Floyd in the kitchen with the generous sploshings of alcohol

proggy

Being single again, Valentine's Day means nothing to me.

I'm looking forward to Solo Lovers Day......... or Palm Sunday, as it's more commonly known.

bertie

Stevepage said:

chillidoggy said:

Highlight of my evening was a chicken curry.

Highlight of mine with the Mrs was too much red wine in the Spag Bol. 

Very much Keith Floyd in the kitchen with the generous sploshings of alcohol

we got "engaged" 30 years ago on St Vals..........................  so I had to so something a bit nifty in the kitchen

cooked a nice meal too

BigBearKris

...and I had lovely Valentine's Day - went out for a walk, then lovely meal out and chilled evening at home. Neither of us are overly fussed about it and we do enjoy our time at home together as we both work such long hours. As for flowers, chocolates and such - I think yesterday's was as good day to give it to your partner as any.

DCS222

bertie said:

Stevepage said:

chillidoggy said:

Highlight of my evening was a chicken curry.

Highlight of mine with the Mrs was too much red wine in the Spag Bol. 

Very much Keith Floyd in the kitchen with the generous sploshings of alcohol

we got "engaged" 30 years ago on St Vals..........................  so I had to so something a bit nifty in the kitchen

cooked a nice meal too

Hope you washed your hands…

HerbieTheRadDorklift

TheOtherDennis said:

PetGerbil said:

TheOtherDennis said:

EricTheWeary said:

I have been listening to loads of Barry Cryer jokes and stories. This is apparently a true(ish) story...

Barry was involved in a TV show and there was another comedian who did the warm up with the studio audience. The young BBC producer was apparently a bit anxious about using him but didn't have much choice. The comedian started his act by saying he knew all the characteristics of the star signs and if people shouted out what star sign they were he would tell them.
 "Aquarius!" shouted a member of the audience.
"Loud mouthed and always first to answer" said the comedian and there was a ripple of laughter in the theatre before he carried on with the rest of his act.
Afterwards the producer took him to one side and said "I love your act, especially that first joke about star signs. Tell me, how did you know it was going to be Aquarius..."  

I also love that one he told about how he first discovered Jewish humour. He said he was sat next to a Jewish boy in school, when they were about 10 years old.

The teacher pointed to the Jewish kid and said "Ok, Maurice, what's 10% of £52?"

And the boy replied "My thoughts exactly, sir. What's 10%?"

I've given it a few days. Annnnd....I still don't get it ?

The kid is basically saying 10%? Meh, that's rubbish.

I read it as the young Jewish boy saying it reassuringly regarding his cut, as a manager would to his talent.

bertie

HerbieTheRadDorklift said:

I read it as the young Jewish boy saying it distgusted regarding his cut being so small, as a manager would to his talent.

HerbieTheRadDorklift

bertie said:

HerbieTheRadDorklift said:

I read it as the young Jewish boy saying it distgusted regarding his cut being so small, as a manager would to his talent.

Interesting take. I prefer mine.

Lebarque

Poboy

6.30 is the best time on a clock face, hands down.

TheMarlin

bertie

Kittyfrisk

Kittyfrisk

https://twitter.com/obornetweets/status/1493925122058727430