Friday humour

axisus

proggy

Wife:  Let's get a rhododendron.

Me:   No chance. I'm scared of dinosaurs.

Wife:  It's not a dinosaur.

Me:   What is it then?

Wife:  It's difficult to explain. I'll get a thesaurus.

Me:   I said no bloody dinosaurs.

TheMarlin

TheMarlin

relic245

I watched a really cool documentary on cocaine yesterday.

It was such a great experience I think I'm going to watch all documentaries this way from now on.

CE1

What do we want?
A cure for Tourette’s!
When do we want it?
Fuck, shit, wank

crunchman

axisus

proggy

I bought a boomerang online and I'm not very pleased with it.

I should have realised it was going to be rubbish when I saw the seller had a no returns policy.

TheMarlin

monquixote

equalsql

https://i.redd.it/aw73ldwzhr891.jpg

proggy

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a supermarket."

"How long have you been like this?"

"Since I was Lidl"

TheMarlin

TheMarlin

Haych

proggy said:

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a supermarket."

"How long have you been like this?"

"Since I was Lidl"

Are you Morris' son?

the_jaffa

Haych said:

proggy said:

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a supermarket."

"How long have you been like this?"

"Since I was Lidl"

Are you Morris' son?

As long as he is Aldi nuff, who cares

relic245

My youngest has just come downstairs from watching TV in  his bedroom . He said " dad , what's love juice? " . After nearly choking on my brew , I though I'd better be honest and said " son , sit down I will tell you, when a women gets sexually excited , her vagina gets wet , and that's love juice. He just stared back at me in total bewilderment.   I said " anyway, what are you watching up in your bedroom. He said " Wimbledon " Dad

monquixote

bertie

^^ nope another one over me head ^^