Friday humour

Fretwired

Fretwired

littlegreenman

FarleyUK

Kilgore said:

chillidoggy said:

Fretwired said:

It should read, “We’re taking you to the Fretboard Off-Topic section.

If the guy has Covid he's lucky. The Fretboard has a Specialist Coronavirus Treatment & Research Section. 

Manned by absolute subject specialists as well. Who needs qualifications to know everything there is to do with virus', society, governments etc.?

chillidoggy

FarleyUK said:

Kilgore said:

chillidoggy said:

Fretwired said:

It should read, “We’re taking you to the Fretboard Off-Topic section.

If the guy has Covid he's lucky. The Fretboard has a Specialist Coronavirus Treatment & Research Section. 

Manned by absolute subject specialists as well. Who needs qualifications to know everything there is to do with virus', society, governments etc.?

No-one.

All you need is Internet access and a keyboard, and bingo! You're an instant expert on all matters.

proggy

I'm reading a book called 'The Stockholm Syndrome'.
I hated the first couple of chapters, but now I'm beginning to really like it.

Haych

Haych

mart

proggy said:

I'm reading a book called 'The Stockholm Syndrome'.
I hated the first couple of chapters, but now I'm beginning to really like it.

I'm reading a book on flaucinoccinihilpilification. It's rubbish.

Roysterdoyster

Mattharrier

chillidoggy said:

FarleyUK said:

Manned by absolute subject specialists as well. Who needs qualifications to know everything there is to do with virus', society, governments etc.?

No-one.

All you need is Internet access and a keyboard, and bingo! You're an instant expert on all matters.

I get the keyboard and the internet access, but I don't see how playing bingo would help...

proggy

mart said:

proggy said:

I'm reading a book called 'The Stockholm Syndrome'.
I hated the first couple of chapters, but now I'm beginning to really like it.

I'm reading a book on flaucinoccinihilpilification. It's rubbish.

What a word! I had to google it.

zepp76

proggy

^^ The cheese is a little off putting ^^

zepp76

proggy said:

^^ The cheese is a little off putting ^^

There was a young lady from Neath,
who bit off men’s dicks with her teeth.
It wasn’t for money, or anything funny.
But for that little bit of cheese underneath.

TheOtherDennis

Which reminds me of an old favourite (I think I originally heard it on Morecambe and Wise or something like that) - 

In days of old
When knights were bold
And rescued damsels from towers
They'd sit by the fire
And chat to their squire
Then polish their lances for hours

TheOtherDennis

Or there's Humph's fantastic introduction to the limerick round on I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. It went something like this -

"For those who are unaware, a limerick is a short nonsense poem of usually humorous or witty intent. It consists of a single five-line verse, with a strict metre and rhyming structure.

The first two lines rhyme with each other; then the next two, shorter, lines rhyme with each other, but not the first two. Then the final line, of similar length and metre to the first two lines, also rhymes with them, in a manner which brings the whole to a satisfying conclusion.

A typical example would go like this...

There was a young lady from Slough
Who developed a terrible cough
It was awful to bear
And dreadful to hear
Let's all hope the poor girl pulls through."

munckee

 There was a young man from greece
who did terrible things to his geese 
he went to far
with his budgerigar
and his parrot called the police. 

merlin

Roysterdoyster said:

Should really be made by EHX. 

zepp76

TheOtherDennis said:

Which reminds me of an old favourite (I think I originally heard it on Morecambe and Wise or something like that) - 

In days of old
When knights were bold
And rescued damsels from towers
They'd sit by the fire
And chat to their squire
Then polish their lances for hours

My grandad used to tell me the one that went:

In the days of old
when Knights were bold
and paper wasn’t invented
they wiped their arse 
on lumps of grass
and walked away contented