A white coffee please.

crunchman

breakstuff said:

Pretentious drivel,that's what.

Have a wisdom.  if I could I'd give you more than one.

Mods can we have a button to add 10 wisdoms in one go please?

Chalky

I always ask for an English Coffee. When they ask what I mean I say "make it like you do at home". Never fails.

Sassafras

I live in a small town on the south coast, we've got 2 starbucks and about a dozen other coffee shops, cafe nero, costa rica, java empire or whatever they're called. There are more coffee places than food shops which is just as well because I'm told that coffee is an appetite suppressant.

EricTheWeary

https://d347g8zw222vxp.cloudfront.net/styles/inpage_gallery/s3/gallery_images/140913 NR JoG Opening 026.png?itok=eHdfsySf I've been here, it's not totally obvious what it is but it is Starbucks at John O'Groats. I have googled what's at Lands End but whilst they have a cafe it's not Starbucks or similar.

Hootsmon

perhaps tae avoid upsetting anyone you should ask for a HONKY coffee

HAL9000

Next time you go into Starbucks have some fun with a green marker pen...

Then there's the Caffè Nero customer satisfaction survey game...

Snap

Twattiato Boy was at it again this morning in the gym.

Idiot.

Doing high swings with his legs too, in mincey shorts.

What a ponce.

Properly upset me it did. Quite why, I/ve no idea, cos its nothing to do with me, but I find it more offensive than the other berks in the gym who wear beanies. Lemons. Its not cold and its indoors.

cruxiform

lloyd said:

There's a hipster bar in the Northern Quarter opening (possibly open) that's going to charge by the minute rather than by the coffee. I will be avoiding this beard laden haven like the plague.

Beards. There's another thread right there.

RocknRollDave

breakstuff said:

Or just drink tea like civilized people

Jesus, how many posts did I have to scroll down through to find someone talking sense.

A wisdom awarded, only in the absence of a "thank GOD! At LAST!" button.

mike_l

RocknRollDave said:

breakstuff said:

Or just drink tea like civilized people

Jesus, how many posts did I have to scroll down through to find someone talking sense.

A wisdom awarded, only in the absence of a "thank GOD! At LAST!" button.

I think you'll find I said tea on the first page.

And compared coffee to "shit in a cup".

hotpot

I have a inbuilt BS meter which as I've got older is on a rather short fuse when confronted with this crapolla.

RocknRollDave

mike_l said:

RocknRollDave said:

breakstuff said:

Or just drink tea like civilized people

Jesus, how many posts did I have to scroll down through to find someone talking sense.

A wisdom awarded, only in the absence of a "thank GOD! At LAST!" button.

I think you'll find I said tea on the first page.

And compared coffe the "shit in a cup".

Ahhh, so you did. My bad, I obviously haven't had enough cups of tea yet today, I'm slipping.

Maybe we should start a tribute band...Tea Urn Maiden....?



*gets coat*

lloyd

hotpot said:

I have a inbuilt BS meter which as I've got older is on a rather short fuse when confronted with this crapolla.

Is that a new coffee range at Costa?

mike_l

RocknRollDave said:

I think you'll find I said tea on the first page.

And compared coffe the "shit in a cup".

Ahhh, so you did. My bad, I obviously haven't had enough cups of tea yet today, I'm slipping.

Maybe we should start a tribute band...Tea Urn Maiden....?



*gets coat*

I'm in on leadish guitar and tea drinking.

hotpot

lloyd said:

hotpot said:

I have a inbuilt BS meter which as I've got older is on a rather short fuse when confronted with this crapolla.

Is that a new coffee range at Costa?

It could well be, I left the queue when I saw the price of the ponced up gimmicky shite, I'll stick with tea in future. Missus wasn't impressed with me lol.
:-*

HAL9000

Fuzzdog said:

I find it strange whenever I'm in a coffee shop, and I ask for a white coffee - the staff clearly know exactly what I'm talking about, but seem to act as if some rule forbids them from moving from the spot unless the correct sequence of code words are uttered, as if some kind of coffee-based Darth Vader was watching them, ready to force choke them if they allow even one single coffee to be served without the correct codes.

Me - "Hi there!  White coffee, please."

Them - *slightly terrified look and awkward silence with occasional subtle head bobs towards the board of coffee code names behind them*

Me - "A large straight Americano with milk, please."

Them -  "Of course!"  *visible relief as they scamper off to make me a white coffee*

Many companies are now offering courses in Italian to help you make sense of all this. So, next time you pop into Costa's, instead of asking for a white coffee, you will be able to demand 'Vorrei un piccolo caffè bianco per favore'. Now the boot is on the other foot. So when the assistant looks blank (the same assistant that deigned only to understand Italian last time, remember) you can smile smugly and quietly say ' A small white coffee please matey'.

viz

Are you Kasparov or something? That is utterly brilliant.

imalone

HAL9000 said:

Fuzzdog said:

I find it strange whenever I'm in a coffee shop, and I ask for a white coffee - the staff clearly know exactly what I'm talking about, but seem to act as if some rule forbids them from moving from the spot unless the correct sequence of code words are uttered, as if some kind of coffee-based Darth Vader was watching them, ready to force choke them if they allow even one single coffee to be served without the correct codes.

Me - "Hi there!  White coffee, please."

Them - *slightly terrified look and awkward silence with occasional subtle head bobs towards the board of coffee code names behind them*

Me - "A large straight Americano with milk, please."

Them -  "Of course!"  *visible relief as they scamper off to make me a white coffee*

Many companies are now offering courses in Italian to help you make sense of all this. So, next time you pop into Costa's, instead of asking for a white coffee, you will be able to demand 'Vorrei un piccolo caffè bianco per favore'. Now the boot is on the other foot. So when the assistant looks blank (the same assistant that deigned only to understand Italian last time, remember) you can smile smugly and quietly say ' A small white coffee please matey'.

While this is genius, they are not speaking Italian, "latte" is only a coffee in starbuckese. I'm led to believe ordering latte in Italy would get you a glass of milk and puzzled looks (I've never tried it as stuck to capuccino and espresso). A Belgian friend tells me the Dutch (yes I know) for caffè latte is "koffie verkeerd" or "wrong coffee". (Even if it is nice for breakfast.)
The best bit of this, not too long ago I ordered a latte and was asked if I wanted milk.

EricTheWeary

I think I've told this before but my boss went into a recently opened cafe and asked for an espresso. They brought her a cappuccino. When she said it was the wrong drink the helpful waitress explained that it was more for her money.

ICBM

I am now even more puzzled than I was at the start of this thread as to why people voluntarily expose themselves to this idiocy.